Adventures of Thrones: Season 8
by Fictionstv
Summary: A parody rewrite of Season 8's Game of Thrones. What if Dany was a competent ruler? What if Jon Snow continued to know nothing? Will Arya complete her kill list? What is Cersei's back-up plan? How will the Night King be stopped?
1. Season 8 Episode 1: Part 1

Tyrion and Varys rode in a carriage together on their way to Winterfell. As they did, they shit-talked the entire way. "You should feel lucky. You don't have balls to freeze off," Tyrion remarked.

"Another eunuch joke? Your material needs refreshing," Varys said disappointed.

"I don't need to," Tyrion replied.

"And why is that?" Varys asked.

"Because I have balls and you don't," Tyrion smiled.

"When was the last time you got laid? Was it Shane before you killed her?" Varys asked.

"I'll have you know that I whored around in Mereen as much as I did anywhere else," Tyrion said defensively.

"Yeah, bullshit," Varys doubted. "You know she's mad, right?"

"Everyone's a little mad," Tyrion downplayed.

"Why are we even here?" Varys asked.

"To defend the North, her future loyal subjects," Tyrion said obviously.

"She doesn't give a fuck about the North," Varys doubted. "This has everything to do with Jon Snow's cock."

"That cock is going to save countless lives," Tyrion reminded him.

* * *

Jon rode with Dany on their way to Winterfell surrounded by marching Unsullied soldiers. They past by pissed-off and skeptical Northerners. "I warned you. Northerners don't trust outsiders," Jon said to her.

"Good thing I don't give a shit," Dany replied wide-eyed.

The two dragons flew overhead freaking out the Northerners. "Oh, fuck yes," Dany smiled.

* * *

Jon and Dany finally entered Winterfell where they were greeted by Sansa and Bran. Jon embraced Bran not having seen him for a long time and thinking he had died up until recently. "Look at you. You're a man," Jon said to Bran.

"I am beyond that of a man," Bran replied vaguely.

Jon then embraced Sansa. "Where's Arya?" Jon asked concerned.

"Lurking around, maybe killing someone," Sansa figured.

Dany then approached Sansa leaving Jorah's side. "Queen Daenearys of House Targaryen," Jon introduced. "My sister, Sansa Stark, Lady of Winterfell."

"Winterfell is yours, Your Grace," Sansa said politely.

"I know," Daenearys smiled.

"We don't have time for this! The Night King has your dragon! He is one of them now! The wall has fallen! The dead march south!" Bran interjected.

Daenerys eyed Bran. "I'm going to need you to calm the fuck down. I just got here. God damn."

* * *

Sansa reported the news to the war council. "As soon as I heard the news that the wall had fallen, I ordered all of our banner men to retreat to Winterfell. And like assholes, many did not heed," Sansa said pissed-off.

"Lord Umber, when can we expect your people to arrive?" Sansa asked a small boy.

"I have no idea, my lady, my king, your grace," he stuttered.

"Why the fuck not?" Sanas asked impatiently.

"I'm only eight," the boy excused.

"Your incompetence is going to doom your entire house," Sansa said irritably.

"Order those on the Night's Watch to come here to make our stand," Jon ordered their leader.

"Yeah, we took an oath to stay at the wall," the leader replied.

"But the wall has fallen," Jon said obviously.

"The oath didn't say anything about what should happen should the wall fall," the leader said.

"I know the oath. I was there," Jon said irritably.

"And yet, here you are, not being on the wall," the leader rolled his eyes.

"I literally died. So, get off my back about that," Jon said.

"They're not coming," the leader said stubbornly.

"Well...shit," Jon sighed.

"Your grace," Lyanna interrupted.

"What?" Jon asked exasperated.

"But you're not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a...not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all?" she asked.

"Its not important," Jon said annoyed.

"Not important? We named you king of the North," Lyanna pressed. The crowd banged on the tables and shouted "Here, here."

"How about the title "mother-fucker." How about that? You can call me the mother-fucker from now on, because she's the mother of dragons," Jon pointed to Dany. "And I fucked her."

Dany gave Jon a stunned look. Jon stood up to address the crowd. "I left Winterfell, because you all were bitches that can't fight or follow orders. We would all be slaughtered. Now, I've brought allies back home to fight alongside us to save your sorry asses. You see, I don't give a fuck if I die...again. I really do...not...give...a...fuck. So, you can take that self-righteous attitude of yours and shove it up your ass," Jon told them.

The Northerners shouted and cheered in agreement appreciating Jon's spunk. "How am I supposed to feed this large army you've brought here?" Sansa asked.

"Sansa, nobody gives a shit about logistics," Jon shut her down.

"Well, I do. I mean, what do two full-grown dragons eat?" Sansa wondered.

"Anything they want," Dany smiled looking directly at her.

* * *

Tyrion went to meet Sansa after the meeting. "Lady of Winterfell," Tyrion said impressed.

"Hand of the Queen," Sansa addressed. "Depending on the queen, I suppose."

"Are you talking shit, already?" Tyrion wondered.

"Yeah, I am," Sansa confirmed.

"Then allow me to retort. The last time we spoke, it was at Joeffry's wedding. You abandoned me and made me look guilty," Tyrion said bitterly.

"I'm not apologizing," Sansa refused.

"I could have provided you protection," Tyrion said.

"Yeah, bullshit," Sansa doubted.

"But you had to go off on your own into the loving arms of Ramsey Bolton. Maybe, you should have just stayed with me," Tyrion said.

"If I had, I would be executed with you," Sansa pointed out.

"Except, I escaped to a better place where you escaped to a shitty place," Tyrion pointed out.

"I survived. That's all that matters now," Sansa said defensively.

"With Ramsey dead, our marriage is still a go," Tyrion said. "I am now Lord of Winterfell."

"The fuck you are," Sansa rejected.

"I expect you to resume your marital duties...to me," Tyrion said.

"I will never fuck you," Sansa replied. "Our marriage was never consummated."

"A fact no one else needs to know," Tyrion said softly.

"It's not happening just like your Lannister army isn't happening either," Sansa said.

"I know," Tyrion frowned.

* * *

Jon came up to the weirwood tree outside Winterfell. "Holy shit!" he said startled by Arya. "How did you sneak up on me?"

"How did you survive being stabbed in the heart?" Arya asked.

"Because I'm a fucking bad-ass, that's how," Jon replied.

Arya smiled and then embraced Jon. "You still have it," Jon realized of Arya's sword.

"Yes," Arya smiled showing it to him.

"Have you ever used it?" Jon asked.

"A shit-ton," Arya replied.

"Yeah, well, my sword's bigger," Jon said taking it out.

"Valyrian steel," Arya noted.

"Jealous?" Jon antagonized. "You know, I could have used you here. Where the fuck did you go?"

"I had people to kill, like a lot of people to kill," Arya excused.

"Sansa could have used your help," Jon said annoyed.

"She can take care of herself," Arya rolled her eyes. "She doesn't like your queen, does she?"

"Sansa thinks she's smarter that everyone else," Jon said.

"Well, she's smarter than your dumb-ass," Arya chided.

"Fuck you, Arya. I'm now the mother-fucker," Jon informed her.

"I'm not calling you that," Arya refused shaking her head. "Sansa is protecting our family."

"And I'm not?" Jon asked offended.

"Jon, you're Dany's bitch, now," Arya said walking off.

"Am not," Jon said defensively once she was a distance away. "Get no respect around here," he muttered going back inside.


	2. Season 8 Episode 1: Part 2

Qyburn walked up to Queen Cersei with a somber face. "Your Grace, I'm afraid I have terrible news. The wall has been breached."

"The fuck you talking about? That's great," Cersei said pleased.

In the bay was the Iron Island fleet commanded by Euron Greyjoy. He went down below deck to check up on the captured Yara, his niece. "Why don't you get it over with and kill me?" Yara asked him.

"We're family. The last of the Greyjoys in the world. The last ones with balls, anyway," Euron chuckled as he drank. "You see what I did just there? I implied you're a shemale."

"I got it," Yara said rolling her eyes.

"If I kill you, who can I talk to?" Euron asked.

"Obviously not Cersei. She's just using you," Yara replied.

"And I'm okay with that," Euron sighed.

"You've picked the losing side," Yara said defiantly.

"Then I'll sail somewhere else. But first, I'm going to fuck the queen," Euron said wide-eyed.

"Those dragons of hers will destroy your fleet. She has no jurisdiction. She will find you and roast you alive," Yara predicted.

"No shit?" Euron wondered and then walked off.

* * *

That night, Cersei addressed Euron and Captain Strickland. "How many men?"

"Twenty-thousand. Some died in transit," Cpt. Strickland said.

"Cuz I killed'em. They cheated at dice or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated," Euron said immaturely.

Cersei ignored him. "Horses?"

"Two thousand," Cpt. Strickland continued.

"And elephants?" Cersei asked.

"No elephants, Your Grace," Cpt. Strickland said flatly.

"I specifically ordered elephants. What...the...fuck?" Cersei asked pissed-off.

"We couldn't budget them in and there are some animal rights regulations we had to follow and...," Cpt. Strickland said.

"This is an outrage. I want my elephants," Cersei glared.

"It ain't happening, Your Grace," Cpt. Strickland replied.

"Fuck," Cersei said disappointed.

"We look forward to fighting on your behalf," Cpt. Strickland said diplomatically.

"Just...get the fuck out," Cersei sent him away.

"Am I welcome here?" Euron asked rhetorically.

"Is that a trick question?" Cersei glared impatiently.

"I was hoping we could talk in private," Euron said boldly.

"You want...to fuck me, is that right?" Cersei asked wide-eyed.

"Well...," Euron said awkwardly.

"You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen, earn her," Cersei replied.

"How about I just take the Iron Fleet out of your harbors as well as all my men," Euron threatened.

"You're insolent. I've executed men for far less," Cersei replied.

"They were lesser men, and _I am_ referring to my cock size," Euron

"Oh really?" Cersei doubted. "You look like a fat slob."

"And you're an over-the-hill, on-the-verge of menopause, colossal bitch," Euron shot back.

"I hear your people talk to fish...and fuck them," Cersei fired back.

"Only some of us do that," Euron admitted.

"You better impress me beyond anything I have ever experienced before," Cersei said.

"Jaime may be the Kingslayer, but I'm the Pussyslayer," Euron said confidently.

"Come on, then," Cersei allowed leaving the hall with the door open.

* * *

Bronn was in the whore house as the women discussed death and destruction around him. "I heard the dragon fire killed a thousand Lannister men. Burned up some of my favorite boys," they said.

"Yeah, I was there," Bronn said annoyed. "I'm the only man you've ever met that has shot a dragon."

"Really?" they doubted.

"Nearly killed it," Bronn bragged.

"That's so brave," they said as all three climbed on top of him.

"That ginger boy has his face burned right off," one of them said.

"Can we stop talking about the dragons, alright? You're killing my boner," Bronn protested.

"Ser Bronn of Blackwater?" Qyburn interrupted. "Sorry for the interruption but Queen Cersei requires your services."

"You cock-blocker," Bronn said annoyed and got up.

"You ever get lonely, I'm partial to older men," one of the whores said to Qyburn.

"Poor girl, the pox will get here within the year," Qyburn remarked.

"What the fuck?" Bronn spat out his wine.

"Queen Cersei is willing to pay in advance with chests of gold outside," Qyburn said.

"What? The dragon girl? Fuck that," Bronn rejected.

"Queen Cersei has other plans for the dragon girl," Qyburn replied.

"Yeah, bullshit," Bronn doubted.

"Queen Cersei wants Jaime and Tyrion killed should they survive their Northern adventure. Here's a crossbow," Qyburn said taking one from a random soldier.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to kill Jaime, my best friend and client for many years, for a crossbow?" Bronn asked incredulously.

"And...lot's of money," Qyburn added.

"Alright, I'll do it," Bronn agreed.

* * *

Cersei was fully dressed as Euron got his pants back up. "I wanted those elephants," Cersei muttered.

"I just gave you the best fuck of your entire life and that's what you're thinking about?" Euron asked incredulously.

"Could you...maybe...send a ship over there and get one," Cersei wondered.

"No, fuck no, absolutely not," Euron rejected.

"Damn it," Cersei said defeated.

"So, how do I compare to the fat-king?" Euron asked.

"You're insulting my late husband. I should kill you for that," Cersei said.

"Did I offend you, little snowflake?" Euron mocked.

"Robert had a whore every night and yet he still couldn't find his way around a woman's body," Cersei said reflectively.

"And the Kingslayer?" Euron asked curiously.

"You're boring me. You bore me, Euron," Cersei said annoyed.

"Do I displease the queen?" Euron asked.

"You're the most arrogant man I have ever met. It borders on cliche. Fix it," Cersei ordered. "Now, I want to be left alone," Cersei told him off.

"I'm going to put a prince in your belly," Euron said confidently as he walked off.

The wheels in Cersei's brain began to turn. "I think you will."

* * *

Late at night, on the capital ship, Theon and his men killed off all the guards and rescued Yara. As soon as Theon untied her, she head-butted him to the ground. "Okay, I deserved that," Theon allowed.

Yara then took three ships back towards the Iron Islands. That morning, Theon and Yara had a chat. "With Euron in Kings Landing with all his ships and men, we can retake the Iron Islands," Yara said thoughtfully.

"Sounds super-easy, barely an inconvenience," Theon agreed.

"You want to go back to Winterfell and slay some zombies, right?" Yara asked knowingly.

"Yeah," Theon admitted.

"Just don't be a bitch out there. You represent us," Yara told him.

"I will restore my honor and redeem myself," Theon said confidently.

"Then go. I hate you anyway," Yara permitted.


	3. Season 8 Episode 1: Part 3

Tyrion, Varys, and Davos watched as the Karstarks arrived at Winterfell. "The Karstarks, one of the better sigils. Beats an onion, anyway," Tyrion remarked.

"The onion represents the Seaworth's many complex layers...you ignorant fuck," Davos said offended.

"Actually, Ser Davos, that's bullshit. It became your sigil after you smuggled onions into Stormsend," Varys countered.

"Fuck you, fuck you both," Davos said scornfully.

The three walked away towards the wall where they could see the entire camp. "Not too long ago, the Starks and Karstarks slaughtered each other on the battlefield but Snow brought peace to their houses," Davos narrated.

"Let's not jerk off Jon Snow too hard," Tyrion advised him.

"That's not my point, asshole. My point is that the Northern men are loyal to Jon Snow, not to Daenearys. They don't know her. You're going to have to earn their loyalty," Davos said obviously.

"We're literally saving their asses. What else do they want?" Tyrion wondered.

The three of them climbed up to the wall and saw Jon and Dany conversing outside. "I sense you have a proposal," Tyrion said of Davos.

"A proposal is what I am proposing," Davos replied.

"Well...no shit," Tyrion rolled his eyes.

"On the off-chance we survive, what if the seven kingdoms for once in their whole shitty history were united by a just woman and an honorable man?" Davos considered.

"I wouldn't call Dany just," Varys doubted.

"They do make a handsome couple," Tyrion agreed.

"My little birds tell me they've only fucked one time so far and that you saw it," Varys said pessimistically.

"What the fuck?" Tyrion wondered suddenly paranoid.

"God damn," Davos said looking at Tyrion.

"I saw them both go into a room. That's all," Tyrion excused himself.

"Yeah, bullshit," Varys knew otherwise.

* * *

Jon and Dany walked around the camps outside the walls oblivious to the three conspirators spying on them. "Your sister doesn't like me...fix it," Dany ordered.

"She doesn't know you is all," Jon excused. "If it makes you feel any better, she didn't like me either while we were growing up."

"It doesn't, Jon. I want her to respect me as her queen," Dany said wide-eyed. "If she can't respect me, how can she love me?"

Dany left a dumbfounded Jon behind and conversed with Dothraki horsemen. "How many?"

"Only eighteen goats and eleven sheep," they reported.

Dany turned to Jon. "They're not eating."

* * *

Jon and Dany hiked their way to where the dragons were feeding. "What's wrong with them?" Jon asked.

"They don't like the North. I can see why," Dany glared at him. "They're also pissed-off that they lost their brother to a fool-hardy plan to retrieve a zombie to show to Cersei only to have Cersei not send her armies. They feel betrayed by traitorous incompetent people."

"In retrospect, it was a bad plan," Jon agreed.

"I should have sacked King's Landing first, united all the kingdoms, and then led the coalition against the Undead," Dany said reflectively as she patted her dragon.

"But the North would all be dead," Jon replied.

"Is that really so bad?" Dany wondered softly.

"Wait...what?" Jon thought he misheard.

Dany got on her dragon. "Go on. Ride Rhaegar."

"Your dragon or your dead brother?" Jon asked.

"Don't be a smart-ass," Dany scolded him.

"I don't know how," Jon admitted.

"No one does...except me. I was able to do it perfectly my first try," Dany said impressed with herself.

"What if he doesn't want me to?" Jon questioned.

"Then I have enjoyed your company, Jon Snow," Dany quipped.

"I don't know...," Jon said looking Rhaegar over.

"Jon, don't be a bitch," Dany told him.

"Fuck me," Jon muttered and got on the dragon. "What do I hold onto?"

"Not their cock," Dany said helpfully.

Jon shook his head dismayed and held onto two back spikes. "Holy fuck!" Jon screamed as the dragon took into the air.

* * *

After flying around for an hour, the two landed near a frozen water fall. Jon got off Rhaegar and puked on the snow. "You've completely ruined horses for me," Jon said.

"I'm not apologizing," Dany replied quickly.

"It's cold up here for a southern girl," Jon remarked.

"So, keep your queen warm," Dany smiled flirtatiously.

Jon gave her a passionate kiss but was interrupted by the snarling dragons. "Let's make love right here, right now," Dany suggested.

"In front of the dragons?" Jon wondered.

"Yes, I want them to see," Dany confirmed.

"But it's cold and we're out in the open," Jon protested.

"Are you rejecting me?" Dany said suddenly furious.

"God damn it," Jon said taking off his coat and shirt.

* * *

Gendry was hard at work in the blacksmith factory making weapons out of dragon-glass. He finally made an ax and handed it to the Hound. "It's not easy making a blade that big with dragon-glass," Gendry said impressed with himself.

"You're saying you're good?" Hound asked sarcastically.

"I'm just saying it's tricky material is all," Gendry said defensively.

"Only cripples and cock-suckers make weapons for men that fight. Which one are you?" Hound asked.

"Why not both?" Gendry shot back.

"Leave him be," Arya said from the shadows.

"I heard you were here. You left me to die," Hound said bitterly.

"I'm not apologizing," Arya said quickly.

"You're a cold-hearted bitch, aren't you?" Hound said impressed. "I guess that's why you're still alive."

Hound then walked off in a huff. "That was a nice ax you made for him. I need you to make something for me," Arya said to Gendry.

"So...how can I help you?" Gendry asked.

"I want a cock...made of dragon-glass. Can you make it for me?" Arya requested.

"I have a lot of work to do. It's not really a priority," Gendry replied.

"I'm a Lady of Winterfell and a trained assassin. Do you really want to fuck with me?" Arya asked.

"Is that a trick question?" Gendry wondered.

"You're funny. I like you. You can go ahead and fuck my sister," Arya punched him in the gut making him fall over. "Can you make it or not?"

"Yes," Gendry wheezed.

"Good," Arya said pleased and then walked out.

* * *

Jon knocked on Sansa's door. "Come in," she allowed. Jon walked in frustrated. "Are you aware that Dany is immune to both fire and ice? She doesn't feel anything at all."

"I do now," Sansa said unconcerned.

"I nearly froze my balls off making love to her in the snow outside with her dragons looking on," Jon ranted.

"Jon, you're my brother and I love you but that is way too much information," Sansa said. "Anyway, Lord Glover is staying put with his men."

"Well, he's dead," Jon sighed. "He said he would stand behind House Stark for a thousand years. That's what he said, that piece of shit."

"He pledged his support to Jon Snow, King of the North," Sansa corrected.

"You putting this on me? I just gave you thousands of Dothraki Calvary, Unsullied Infantry, and two dragons," Jon pointed out.

"They're not yours," Sansa downplayed.

"I never wanted the crown, alright. All I ever wanted was to ride horses and hunt with my dog. That's it," Jon said truthfully. "I mean, do you have any faith in me at all?"

"Is that a trick question?" Sansa asked.

"Look, bitch, I fought the Undead. I even killed one of their lords. I'm a fucking bad-ass, and I deserve to be recognized as such," Jon said angrily.

"Alright, you're a bad-ass but what does that matter when your Targaryen queen forces us all to bend the knee? I thought we wanted independence, autonomy," Sansa said.

"What good is all that if you're dead?" Jon asked rhetorically. "She'll be a good queen, for all of us."

"Yeah," Sansa doubted.

"She's not her father," Jon added.

"No, Jon, she's worse," Sansa said knowingly. "Did you bend the knee to save the North or was it to get some tail?"

"Fuck you, Sansa. I don't have to take this," Jon ranted as he left the room.

Sansa simply rolled her eyes as he slammed the door.


	4. Season 8 Episode 1: Part 4

That night, Dany and Jorah casually walked through the library looking for someone. Jorah pointed out Sam who was reading behind a desk. "Ahem," Dany said loudly.

"Holy shit!" Sam got up and went to attention.

"So, you're the man," Dany said vaguely.

"Which man...am I, Your Grace?" Sam wondered.

"The one man that could save Jorah when no one else could," Dany replied.

"Well, anyone could have done it, really," Sam downplayed.

"I'll have to make some changes to the citadel when I take my throne," Dany mused. "A great service merits a great reward."

"It's my honor to serve you, Your Grace," Sam said politely.

"What can I give you in return?" Dany asked.

"If it's not too much trouble, I need a pardon. I borrowed some books from the citadel...and a sword," Sam admitted.

"Is he for real?" Dany whispered to Jorah.

"Afraid so," Jorah whispered back.

"The sword comes from House Tarley. I would have received it eventually...but still," Sam said awkwardly.

"Randal Tarley?" Dany guessed.

"You know him? He's my father," Sam said completely oblivious.

"What the fuck, Jorah?" Dany whispered to him as they turned their backs on Sam.

"I didn't know," Jorah admitted.

"How could you not know? This is so fucking awkward," Dany raged.

Dany composed herself and turned around to face Sam. "I offered Randal Tarley his lands and titles if he were to bend the knee to me. He, of course, accepted and is one of my key allies down south," Dany lied.

"That's great. I didn't get along very well with my father, but I loved my brother, Dickon. He was the only one that took pity on me...you know, because I'm fat and unattractive," Sam said.

Dany nodded. "Yes, I hope to reunite you with your family as soon as possible. Tell me, head of the citadel, have you discovered anything interesting about the Targaryen bloodline?"

"Actually, I have, Your Grace," Sam smiled. "I have discovered that your brother Rhaegar legally annulled his marriage to Elia Martel and then legally married Lyanna Stark," Sam revealed.

"I thought my brother captured and raped Lyanna Stark," Dany said confused.

"In point of fact, they were deeply in love and had a son. That son's name is Aegon Targaryen but to ensure Robert Bratheon never found out, he was hidden away by Ned Stark. Jon Snow is that boy," Sam smiled naively.

"No shit?" Dany smiled back.

"Yeah, isn't it amazing? Jon Snow is actually your nephew. Now, I don't subscribe to the whole royal lineage thing. I'm more of merit-based system kind of man, but Jon Snow has the strongest claim to the Iron Throne," Sam said.

"That is so interesting," Dany said amazed.

"Isn't it?" Sam nodded.

"Jorah, Sam has done an excellent job. He should be reunited with his family, immediately," Dany said.

"Well, I'd like to fight if it's okay with you. I was on the Night's Watch for quite some time. I even slew a White Walker Lord," Sam said proudly.

"You're too valuable for us to lose. Jorah, please," Dany nodded.

"Well...shit," Jorah said taking out his sword and stabbing Sam through.

"I can't believe you did this to me, Jorah. I am so pissed-off, right now," Dany scolded.

"Help! I'm still alive. I'm bleeding, but it's not too bad," Sam called out.

"God damn it," Jorah hissed as he stabbed Sam a second time. "Look, I didn't know. It's just an awkward coincidence."

"And he happens to know the most important secret in Westeros," Dany continued.

"Anyone? Help! I'm really hurt," Sam called out.

Dany frowned at Jorah. "Son-of-a-bitch," Jorah said as he stabbed Sam a third time.

Dany paused a good while to make sure he was dead. "I want a list of all the people here who have had family members killed by me."

"That's going to be a long list," Jorah said dryly.

"Don't be a smart-ass. As punishment, you get to drag his fat ass out of here," Dany ordered.

"Yes, Your Grace," Jorah muttered.

* * *

The next morning, Jaime Lannister arrived at Winterfell in a cloak to conceal himself. He got off his horse and looked around not recognizing anyone. He then saw Bran Stark in a wheel chair staring at him. "Well...shit."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I didn't have too many problems with the writing of this specific episode. It suffered from a lot of the writing mistakes of season 7. The Sam scene was changed, Jon Snow knows nothing as usual, and Tyrion is less naive. I fully intend to re-write the whole season but any suggestions to spice things up would be appreciated.


	5. Season 8 Episode 2: Part 1

Jon Snow went over to Sansa before the meeting was to start. "Have you seen Sam? He's not in the library."

"That fat fuck? No, I haven't seen him," Sansa rolled her eyes.

Dany sat down and smiled at Jon while also giving Sansa a dirty look. "It looks like we have a special guest in front of us."

Jaime Lannister was placed in front of the war council. "My brother would tell me bed-time stories about the man that murdered our father. Who stabbed him in the back and cut his throat. Who sat down on the Iron Throne and watched as his blood poured out," Dany said angrily.

"Come on, I was only a teen. And your father was senile as fuck," Jaime said defensively. Tyrion covered his eyes fearful and embarrassed for his brother.

"He told me other stories as well like what we would do to that man once we took back the seven kingdoms and had him in our grasp," Dany continued.

"I'm not apologizing," Jaime replied.

"Your sister pledged to send her army north," Dany brought up.

"She did," Jaime said vaguely.

"Where the fuck is it?" Dany asked wide-eyed. "I see one man with one hand."

"I almost killed your ass on the battlefield that would have ended the war. I'm worth like ten armies," Jaime said arrogantly.

"Your sister lied to me," Dany accused.

"Well...no shit," Jaime agreed. "She had no intention of sending her army north. She has twenty thousand fresh troops from the Golden Company and Euron Greyjoy's fleet. Even if you defeated the dead, she would have more than enough to kill off the survivors."

"Why are you here?" Dany asked.

"To take ass and kick names...or was it the other way around," Jaime replied confused.

"What does my Hand think about all this?" Dany asked.

"I'm going to go ahead and recuse myself from this," Tyrion said.

"Smart man," Dany smiled.

"We can't trust him. He cornered my father in the streets and tried to destroy my house," Sansa spoke up.

"I'm not apologizing for that, either," Jaime smiled.

"He threw me out a window to cover up his incestuous relationship with his sister. Queen Cersei is pregnant with his child, the presumed heir to the Iron Throne," Bran revealed.

"Just gets better-and-better," Dany smiled wickedly.

"I can vouch for his honor," Brienne of Tarth said standing up. "He defended me against rapists and thieves when he didn't have to. He even lost a hand for me. My Lady, you're alive because of him. He armed me, armored me, and helped me go find you to bring you back home, because he swore an oath to your mother."

"What does the Warden of the North think about all this?" Dany asked Jon.

"Oh, me?" Jon pointed to himself. "Far be it for me to criticize a man that fucks his own sister."

There was an awkward pause. "There's more to him than that," Dany reminded him.

"I honestly don't know," Jon admitted. "I'd kick his ass, right now, right here, but he lost his good hand. Wouldn't even be a challenge."

"Oh really? Let's do this. I'll add your name to the list of Starks I've had killed," Jaime replied.

"Looks like I have to be the grown-up in the room. Could you fight and manage to kill a handful of Undead? Yes, I think you could. But I also see the bigger advantage of making you a bargaining chip against Cersei. Take him away to the dungeon," Dany ordered.

Jaime glared at Dany as he was taken away. "I was just trying to help!" he shouted as he was taken away by Northern guards.

Dany turned to Tyrion. "Fail me and he dies."

Tyrion nodded. "Yes, Your Grace."

"Lord Varys," Dany addressed.

"Yes, Your Grace," he said politely.

"Orchestrate a propaganda campaign that Queen Cersei is pregnant with her brother's child and that Jaime betrayed her by joining our cause," Dany ordered.

"Of course, Your Grace," Varys readily agreed.

"Does the Iron Bank of Braavos have scorpions?" Dany wondered.

"I seriously doubt it," Varys replied.

"I'll be keeping that in mind," Dany smirked.

* * *

Dany ended the meeting and walked with Tyrion down the hall. "Either you knew Cersei was lying and you led me to believe she was telling the truth, or you're a fool in which case you're useless to me," Dany raged.

"That was a season ago. I know better now," Tyrion replied.

"That's fair," Dany allowed. "I'm taking back the Iron Throne or your brother is dead."

Dany, Tyrion, Jorah, Varys, Davos, and Grey Worm entered a room that featured a Westeros map. "Lord Varys, are the Northerners likely to fight for me to retake King's Landing out of gratitude for me saving their asses from the Undead?"

"Out of gratitude? Fuck no," Varys replied.

"All of the Northerners have come to Winterfell seeking shelter from the Undead. That makes Winterfell a bargaining chip," Dany said. "And does Winterfell have any scorpions?"

"No, they don't," Grey Worm replied.

"The Northerns will either march south with me to King's Landing, or I'll burn this place down with everyone inside," Dany threatened.

"What of the Undead? They'll be here within days," Tyrion pointed out.

"Bran Stark appears to have a special connection to the Night King, doesn't he?" Dany figured.

"It would appear so," Jorah said. "He can track the Night King's present movements. Some say he can see the future."

"I wouldn't put too much stock in such magic," Varys disagreed.

"If he really can do this, the Night King will want to kill him first," Dany reasoned. "Why the fuck is he in Winterfell then?"

The crowd was silent. "Take him to King's Landing. The Undead will bypass Winterfell all together and head towards there," Tyrion figured.

"That's right," Dany smiled. "Ser Davos, you're the best smuggler around. You will take Bran to King's Landing and hide him there. Make sure he is never found out."

"Jon Snow isn't going to like that," Davos reminded her.

"I don't give a fuck. Decide quickly before that little shit uses his vision to know what you're going to do," Dany ordered.

If I may interject, if the Undead manage to reach King's Landing and turn all of their inhabitants, they will be unstoppable," Varys warned.

"The Undead are slow. We will reach King's Landing first, sack it, prepare its defenses, and then make our stand there," Dany replied.

"And the Golden Company?" Jorah brought up.

"Send a message to the Iron Bank that their troops belong to me...or I'll burn Braavos to the ground," Dany instructed Varys.

"As you wish, Your Grace," Varys bowed his head.

"Commander, what happens should anything happen to me?" Dany asked Grey Worm.

"Everyone dies," he replied coldly.

"So, none of you fucks better get any smart ideas," Dany said scornfully ending the meeting.

* * *

Arya went into blacksmith factory and found Gendry. "Do you have anything better to do?" he asked her.

"Have you made my cock, yet?" Arya asked.

"Just as soon as I finish a few thousand axes," Gendry said condescendingly.

"You should make my cock first," Arya advised as she took an ax. "Make it stronger than this."

"Strong enough," Gendry said offended as he used the ax on a piece of wood. "It will be safer in the crypt," Gendry told her.

"Against an enemy that can raise the dead? Are you fucking retarded?" Arya wondered.

"I actually was trying to trick you into getting killed," Gendry smiled. "I have done my fair share of fighting. So, fuck off."

"How many of the Undead have you killed?" Arya asked.

"A few. It was enough," Gendry said.

"What are they like?" Arya asked.

"What do you think? They're dead bodies that feel no pain, fear, or hesitancy. All they want to do is kill you however they can with blades or their teeth. They swarm you and once they get a hold of you, they tear your body apart. Is that what you want to know?" Gendry asked haunted by the memory.

"I heard you ran all the way to the wall in record time," Arya said.

"Are you trying to call me a bitch? I was the fastest runner of the group," Gendry said defensively.

"Not at all. It's impressive," Arya complimented. "Look, if I don't get my cock like within the hour, I'm going to come down here and start some real shit."

Arya then threw some dragon-glass blades at a wooden pole with perfect aim. "I look forward to killing the Night King," Arya said knowingly. "I want to see the look on his face when I do it."

"God damn, woman," Gendry said stunned by her aim.

"My cock?" Arya asked.

"I'll get right on it," Gendry said quickly.


	6. Season 8 Episode 2: Part 2

Jorah entered Dany's chambers while she was deep in thought. "Forgive me, Khaleesie," he said.

"Have you done something to offend me...again?" Dany asked.

"Many things," Jorah admitted.

"Long ago and far away...right?" Dany asked and then gave him the crazy eye.

"You did forgive me, despite my failures. When I heard you made Tyrion your hand, it broke my heart," Jorah said.

"When I named him Hand, I didn't know if I would ever see you again," Dany said obviously.

"You made the right choice," Jorah allowed.

"I thought you hated him?" Dany asked confused.

"I did. I wanted to throw him in the sea many times," Jorah agreed.

"I'm sorry, what the fuck are we talking about?" Dany asked wondering if there was a point.

"He's a smart man," Jorah said.

"He's made mistakes, serious mistakes," Dany said angrily.

"That was a season ago. Give him another chance," Jorah advised.

"That's fair," Dany permitted."You're advising me to forgive a man that stole your position. Just how whipped are you, Jorah?"

"Plenty whipped. It's how I got healed and came back to you," Jorah said.

"Is Bran Stark out of Winterfell?" Dany asked.

"He is. Davos has taken him to White Harbor where a ship will take him to Dragonstone Island. From there, he will smuggle him inside King's Landing," Jorah said.

"Good," Dany said pleased. "About that incident in the library."

"My lips are sealed," Jorah assured her.

"He may not be the only one that knows. Perhaps, I should kill Jon Snow and end the controversy before it begins," Dany said thoughtfully.

"He doesn't want the Iron Throne," Jorah said.

"Even so, if gives others an excuse not to follow me, to wait until I fall," Dany said paranoid.

"Jon Snow is a good man," Jorah protested.

"So was Sam," Dany pointed out.

"No one gives a fuck about Sam. You kill Jon Snow in Winterfell, you'll turn the whole North against you, forever," Jorah advised.

"Well...we can't have that, can we?" Dany smirked.

* * *

Ser Davos forced Bran Stark onto a cart, chained him down, and rode off towards King's Landing. "I find this very disagreeable," Bran said.

"I figured you would. Forgive me, young lord," Davos replied as they rode off.

* * *

Dany went to see Sansa as she worked on the logistics of feeding and housing the large army. "I appreciate your support on the Ser Jaime situation."

"Of course, Jaime Lannister is an asshole," Sansa smiled.

"Will Brienne of Tarth be a problem for us?" Dany asked.

"She is loyal to me and to you," Sansa assured her.

"We have a lot in common. We both know how it feels to deal with people not inclined to follow a woman's rule. And we both have done a damn good job at it from what I hear," Dany said impressed with herself as she sat down across from Sansa.

"And yet, I can't help but feel we are at odds with one another," Dany said with a crazed expression. "Why is that?"

"My brother loves you. Men do stupid things for women, and Jon is the dumbest son-of-a-bitch there is," Sansa replied.

"I have only one goal: To take back the Iron Throne. Taking it back from the people that destroyed our families. I'm not here out of charity. After I save your asses, I expect the North to be grateful. I expect you to be grateful," Dany said.

"What happens afterwards?" Sansa asked.

"I take the Iron Throne," Dany said obviously.

"What happens to the North? We took it back. We fought to take it back," Sansa said.

"You will have your autonomy to do as you please. But make no mistake. I intend to be Queen of all seven kingdoms including the North. If you have a problem with that, we can leave you to the Undead," Dany threatened.

"Do we have an understanding?" Dany asked standing up.

"We do, Your Grace," Sansa said lamely.

"My lady, Your Grace?" a Northern lord interrupted.

"What is it?" Dany snapped.

* * *

Dany and Sansa went into another hall where they found Theon. "Your sister?" Dany asked of him.

"She couldn't sail here, so she went back to the Iron Islands to retake it in your name," Theon replied.

"Excellent," Dany said pleased. "But why are you here?"

"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me," Theon said.

Sansa immediately embraced Theon. "Of course."

* * *

Jon came to Dany as she looked at the fortifications. "The Undead will be here by nightfall," Jon informed her.

Dany looked over the catapults outside Winterfell. "Why the fuck are these things outside the castle walls?"

"Well...," Jon muttered.

"You don't know anything about military tactics, do you, Jon Snow?" Dany assumed.

"Not really. I just kind of charge at the enemy and swing my sword around," Jon said.

"Well, okay then," Dany said unimpressed. "Commander, get these catapults inside, right now," she ordered Grey Worm.

"They'll have to be disassembled to get inside the gates, Your Grace," Grey Worm replied.

"Better start working on it," Dany ordered.

"We built a series of pikes around the perimeter," Jon pointed out.

"This is shit," Dany critiqued. "I want actual trenches. Get your people digging now," Dany ordered.

* * *

That night, the leaders discussed the battle plan with a map of Winterfell. "We can't beat them in a straight fight," Jon told the group.

There was an awkward pause. "So, what do we do?" Theon asked.

"They follow the Night King's commands. Getting to him could be our best bet," Jon replied.

"He'll never expose himself then," Theon said obviously.

"Well...shit," Jon said defeated.

"There is a possibility the Night King may not attack at all," Dany said.

"What makes you think that?" Jon wondered.

"I have taken the liberty of sending Bran Stark away from Winterfell towards King's Landing. The Undead may miss us completely to get to him," Dany said.

"What the actual fuck?" Jon wondered.

"Wait...what?" Sansa thought she misheard.

"The Night King is obsessed with Bran. We will give the Undead free passage on the King's road to King's Landing. Along the way, my Dothraki Calvary will harass and hopefully cut down their numbers a bit," Dany said.

"An ingenious plan, Your Grace, assuming, of course, we sack King's Landing before the Undead do," Varys said skeptically.

"The bulk of my forces are waiting to attack King's Landing at Dragonstone Island. What I have here is only a token force," Dany revealed.

"What if the Night King does attack Winterfell? What happens to the North?" Sansa asked outraged.

"Then I've enjoyed all your company," Dany smiled wickedly.

The crowd began to murmur in outrage. "Did you know about this, Jon?" Sansa hissed at him.

"I had no idea," Jon admitted.

"Also, I'm leaving. In my stead, you will take commands from my Hand," Dany added.

"I'm sorry, Your Grace?" Tyrion thought he misheard.

"You heard me. You did such a good job at Blackwater Bay. I know you will do well here," Dany said to him. "I'm taking the prisoner, Jaime Lannister, with me. So don't fail me," Dany told him.

"Let's go, Ser Jorah," Dany said turning to leave.

"We're all going to die," Tormund smiled.


	7. Season 8 Episode 2: Part 3

Dany surrounded herself with her people as she prepared to leave. "What is the enemy position?" Dany asked her Dothraki commander.

"A smaller force has split off from the main and is headed towards here. The main force is marching south along the King's Road," the Dothraki commander replied.

"As you suspected, Your Grace," Varys said anxiously.

"I'm leaving for Braavos. Ser Jorah, you will be coming with me," Dany ordered.

"As you wish, Your Grace, although I'd rather stay here and fight," Jorah said reluctantly.

"Well, we can't always get what we want," Dany said dismissively. Dany turned to Grey Worm. "Start marching the Unsullied to White Harbor but do so in pieces taking multiple routes so the enemy doesn't catch the whole army by surprise."

"Of course, Your Grace," Grey Worm replied.

Jon came out to meet Dany before she was about to leave. "You can't just leave, Dany," he protested.

"Oh really?" Dany asked skeptically. "We are only here, because I was led to believe that Cersei would be sending her armies north. You think I am going to sacrifice my armies against the Undead while Cersei sacrifices nothing?"

"You promised the North your support," Jon reminded her.

"And I have. I have given you a shit-load of dragon-glass, and I have led the Night King away from Winterfell. That's better than anything you could have done with a sword," Dany replied.

"You know what? You're right. I am being entitled. I just wanted to save my people," Jon said.

"You're a good man, Jon Snow, but you still know nothing," Dany said as she left with her people.

"Well...shit," Jon muttered.

* * *

Later that night, Gendry came up to Arya as she was practicing her archery. "Do you have my cock ready?" she asked.

"I do," he said handing it to her in a cloth.

"This will work," Arya said impressed by its smooth shape, its shiny blackness, it's thickness.

"You're Robert Bratheon's bastard, aren't you?" Arya suspected.

"I'm still a person," Gendry said defensively. "What are you going to do with that cock I made for you? Shove it up the Night King's ass?"

"No. It's for my own use," Arya said obviously.

"There's like thousands of men here at Winterfell. Do none of them catch your fancy?" Gendry mocked.

"No one is better than me for me," Arya replied. "Why? You think you're up to the challenge?"

"Sure," Gendry allowed.

"How many girls have you fucked so far?" Arya asked.

"Actually, that's none of your business," Gendry replied.

Arya took out her sword and pointed it at his throat. "Maybe, twelve," he said.

"Don't lie to me," Arya glared.

"Okay, it was three," Gendry said lamely.

"You want...to penetrate me?" Arya asked wide-eyed.

"What the fuck?" Gendry wondered.

"What if I penetrate you first?" Arya asked pointing her sword at his gut. "Strip."

"Excuse me?" Gendry thought he misheard.

"You heard me. Strip, right now," Arya ordered.

"You're a crazy bitch," Gendry said as he took his clothes off.

Arya simply watched until Gendry was naked and freezing his ass off. "Nice," she smiled and then walked off.

Gendry shook his head in amazement.

* * *

Tyrion and Sansa looked over the wall of Winterfell looking into the darkness. "How does it feel for your queen to betray you and abandon you here?" Sansa asked. "To know that I was right all along?"

"Shitty," Tyrion replied.

"What happens if the Night King brings all his forces against us?" Sansa asked.

"Then, we're fucked," Tyrion replied honestly.

"Are you drunk?" Sansa accused.

"I think better when I'm drunk," Tyrion said defensively.

"What's your plan then?" Sansa asked.

"Keep everyone on the walls and towers, barricade every room, and when the castle falls ignite all the oil stored in the crypt," Tyrion said.

"Those are my ancestors, you fuck," Sansa disagreed.

"Ancestors that won't hesitate to rise up and kill your ass," Tyrion reminded her.

"What happens after we ignite the oil?" Sansa asked.

"There is a tunnel system underneath Winterfell that leads to the outside," Tyrion replied.

"And what of the Night King's dragon?" Sansa asked.

"There's a lone scorpion in one of the towers with one dragon-glass spear. It will be our only chance," Tyrion replied.

"How do you know so much about Winterfell's defenses?" Sansa asked suspiciously.

"I read. You should try it," Tyrion replied condescendingly.

"You know, this could be our last night alive," Sansa said.

"And?" Tyrion wondered hopefully.

"And I'm still not going to fuck you," she said as she left.

"Bitch," Tyrion shot back.

* * *

The Undead marched towards Winterfell with glowing blue eyes. They stopped before the trenches and surrounded Winterfell on all sides staying close to the wood-line. Tyrion eyed the Undead army wondering what they were planning to do. Jon came up to him and looked at the Undead army.

"Are they within range of our catapults?" Tyrion asked him.

"Couldn't tell you," Jon replied.

"They don't appear to be approaching," Tyrion noted.

"That's true," Jon agreed.

"Well...shit, they're going to try to starve us out," Tyrion realized.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, the story is going to deviate a bit from here. Feel free to point out any tactical errors in the narrative except for Jon Snow because it's a character requirement that he knows nothing and does nothing consequential at all times.


	8. Season 8 Episode 3: Part 1

Tyrion stared out into the distance watching the Undead army staring back at him. "What the fuck are you waiting for?" he wondered.

"I suggest you throw something at them. That's what I did and it sent them all coming," Hound said bored.

"No, we're not going to do that," Tyrion said obviously.

"We're completely surrounded," Jon reported.

"How long can we hold off?" Tyrion asked him.

"No idea," Jon replied.

"Damn...it," Tyrion sighed.

* * *

Two dragons circled around Braavos freaking out the inhabitants. Dany smirked as she saw her children in the air. She was on a hill overlooking the city with Jorah by her side with Iron Bank representative, Tycho Nestoris.

"Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank," Jorah introduced.

"So...how can I help you?" he asked Dany nervously.

"I want you to end your contract with Cersei Lannister and give me control of the Golden Company," Dany said.

"Perhaps, we should discuss this in my office," Tycho suggested.

"You think me a fool? It's not wise to piss me off," Dany said to him.

"Very well, then. The Iron Bank does not renege on its contracts. We have a reputation to keep. We simply cannot do as you ask," Tycho said diplomatically.

"Oh really?" Dany smiled looking at her dragons.

"And the Lannisters always pay their debts unlike the Targaryens," Tycho added boldly.

"How do you intend to get your money back when I kill Cersei and sack King's Landing?" Dany asked.

"You overestimate yourself. King's Landing is well fortified with scorpions, thousands of fresh troops that we have provided them, and the Iron fleet," Tycho reminded her.

"I can destroy all of that with one dragon," Dany said confidently.

"I seriously doubt that," Tycho scoffed.

"It will actually be super-easy, barely an inconvenience. You'll see," Dany predicted.

"Even if we wanted to, we couldn't. Once a contract is made, it is unbreakable," Tycho refused.

"Do as I ask or I'll burn this city down," Dany threatened.

"You're a good person. I know how you freed the slaves. You won't do it. You don't have the balls," Tycho replied.

Dany gave him the crazy eye. "I'm going to start with your fleet of ships first."

Tycho watched in amazement as the two dragons came closer to them. Drogon landed allowing Dany to ride him. "Last chance, banker," Jorah smiled.

Drogon roared at Tycho. "Alright, the Golden Company is yours," he relented.

"When I take my throne, I'll be making some changes to your business model," Dany told him.

"Of course, you will," Tycho muttered.

"You will tell the Golden Company commander to meet me at Dragonstone Island," Dany ordered Tycho.

"As you wish, Your Grace," Tycho bowed his head.

"Ser Jorah, we're done here," Dany said. Jorah took a deep breath and got back on the dragon behind Dany. Drogon then flew up into the air with Rhaegar following close behind.

* * *

As anticipated, the Night King led his army through a tear of Westeros towards Kings Landing killing anyone in his path and then raising them back up. Dothraki Calvary harassed the army with sneak attacks in an attempt to break it up. The Undead were not intimidated and stayed largely intact. As they traveled, winter seemed to follow them creating unusually cold conditions. At the Twins, the bridge had been destroyed to prevent their advance. The Night King touched the water with his foot turning the river to ice. He then marched his army across.

Meanwhile, Dany's fleet made their way to Dragonstone Island in sections. One of the smaller sections under the command of Grey Worm was sighted by the faster and larger Iron Fleet. "Hold our position," Grey Worm ordered.

The Iron Fleet kept coming and started firing their ballistas. The spears fell short but were almost on them. "The stupid bastards aren't even trying to make a run for it," Euron smiled.

"Hold," Grey Worm ordered his nervous troops.

The Iron Fleet then fired again sending spears into the Targaryen fleet causing significant damage to their hulls. Ships began to take on water from the massive hits. As the Iron Fleet got closer, two dragons emerged from the scattered rocky islands and went straight for them.

"Fuck me," Euron realized as the two dragons blasted his fleet with dragon fire.

Euron quickly rotated his scorpion around to get a shot at them. The dragons were quicker evading the few spears that were fired at them. They blasted several ships at once. In the open ocean, Euron was too far to swim back. They had been lured out. Drogon and Rhaegar targeted Euron's ship and fired on him.

"At least I got to fuck the queen," Euron smirked as he was blasted.

The damaged Targaryen ships limped its way to Dragonstone Island with the two dragons providing air cover.

* * *

Qyburn approached Cersei as she stared out a window on the top floor of the Red Keep. "The Iron Fleet has been destroyed by Daenerys Targaryen's dragons," he reported.

"Did they manage to at least injure the dragons?" Cersei asked.

"No, Your Grace. Euron Greyjoy is presumed lost," Qyburn said.

"Well...shit," Cersei frowned.

* * *

That evening, Captain Strickland arrived at Dragonstone Island in his shiny armor, dashing smile, and impeccable hair. Dany sat on her throne with Jorah, Missandei, and Grey Worm at her sides. "You sent for me, Your Grace," he said nervously.

"Did your employer inform you that your Golden Company belongs to me now?" Dany asked.

"I have been informed," Cpt. Strickland confirmed. "We look forward to fighting on your behalf."

"I've never trusted sell-swords. When I take my throne, I shall abolish them," Dany said.

"I would be happy to assist you in that endeavor...for a price," Cpt. Strickland smiled.

"Shut the fuck up!" Dany spat impatiently standing up and walking towards him. "Listen, you will order your men to fight the Lannister forces and then you will bring Cersei to me, alive."

"The Lannister army is formidable. There would be heavy causalities on both sides. Why not fight alongside us? We could open the gates for you," Cpt. Strickland suggested.

"Because I don't trust you," Dany said obviously. "Once you have forced the Lannister army to surrender and captured Cersei, then you will open the gates for us."

"As you wish, Your Grace," Cpt. Strickland frowned. "When do you wish for us to attack?"

"Now," Dany ordered. "I expect the gates to be open by dawn, or I will burn all of you together."

Cpt. Strickland nodded and then made his exit. Jorah turned to Dany. "You will need rest, Khaleesei," he recommended.

"I agree," Missandei seconded.

Dany turned to Grey Worm. "Prepare your men for a surface attack."

Grey Worm bowed his head and departed the room. Dany then sat down back on her throne. "Before I rest, I want to be entertained by my fool."

"Yes, Your Grace," Jorah smiled.

Jaime Lannister was then brought in by Unsullied troops naked and with a gag in his mouth. The Unsullied had prepared whips in their hands as they surrounded him. Jorah and Missandei took their leave as Dany watched. "Dance for me, Kingslayer," she ordered.

Jaime awkwardly moved around and was whipped continuously by the Unsullied whenever he displeased her.


	9. Season 8 Episode 3: Part 2

After Dany was entertained by her "fool", she had a private meeting with Lord Varys. "Is there anything you wish to say to me?" she asked him.

"I told you that I would look you in the eye and tell you if you were making a mistake," Varys said.

There was a long awkward pause. "And?" Dany asked impatiently.

"I am delighted I don't have to," Varys said pleased.

"No bullshit?" Dany asked.

"No bullshit," Varys nodded.

"We might become friends after all," Dany smiled.

"I wouldn't go that far. I will betray you the moment you become a tyrant," Varys said.

"And the moment you betray me, I'll burn you alive," Dany replied.

"I expect nothing less from the Mother of Dragons," Varys smiled.

"Do you believe in destiny, Lord Varys?" Dany asked.

"No," he said flatly.

"Well, I'm going tell you, anyway," Dany said wide-eyed. "I believe I have a destiny to free slaves and to end tyrants once and for all. I am the chosen one."

"Uh huh," Varys doubted.

"Once I take my throne and end the Night King, what should I do next?" Dany asked.

"Go out and take opinion polls of the masses," Varys suggested.

"No, fuck that," Dany rejected immediately.

"In all seriousness, I suggest that you write up basic rights that every man should have regardless of their class, titles, or station. I also suggest that you bring lords from every corner of Westeros to King's Landing where they may vote on the issues of the day," Varys suggested.

"And what am I supposed to do?" Dany asked skeptically.

"Defend the realm and bring justice to the people," Varys replied.

"I am childless. I will never have an heir. Who should succeed me?" Dany wondered.

"I suggest you find a bastard, raise him and groom him to be a wise king, and present him to the people as your own," Varys suggested.

Dany eyed Varys suspiciously. "Lord Varys, I hope you realize that I decided to take the Iron Throne before fighting the Night King for an important reason."

"I can imagine why," Varys allowed.

"Without me, the world of men is fucked," Dany told him.

"Yes, Your Grace," Varys bowed his head.

* * *

That night, Cersie was suddenly woken up by Qyburn. "What is it?" she asked irritably.

"The Golden Company has revolted against us. They have attacked the barracks," he said urgently.

Cersie looked over King's Landing and saw several fires raging across the city. The city was now wide-awake as surprised Lannister troops battled the Golden Company in close urban warfare. "How could they betray me?" Cersei wondered.

"They will be here soon, Your Grace," Qyburn warned.

"Pull all of our men to the Red Keep," Cersei ordered.

The Lannister army fell back to the Red Keep as the Golden Company swarmed the city taking city block by city block. Cersie then turned to Qyburn. "Burn them. Burn them all," she ordered.

Wild fire suddenly exploded all over the city taking the Golden Company by surprise. The green fire raged through the city killing civilians and fighters alike. Cersie watched passively as green fire erupted all over the city. Buildings exploded and collapsed on the people. The Golden Company was quickly overwhelmed by the green fire. Within minutes, the entire city was in flames.

"Get a count of our remaining troops and make sure our scorpions are armed and ready," Cersei order Qyburn. She looked over the destruction of the city. "Shouldn't have fucked with me," she shook her head.

* * *

Davos stared in horror as buildings around him were exploding in wild fire. "We might have to leave," Davos said to Bran who was sitting on the floor.

"It won't matter," Bran replied.

"Is that because you know the future or is it because you're a lazy ass?" Davos asked.

"Yes," Bran replied.

"Son-of-a-bitch," Davos said worried about the flames. "I don't actually think you know the future. No one does. You may have the ability to see the past but that's it," Davos doubted.

"You got me," Bran shrugged.

"You little shit," Davos said peeved.

"It could be worse," Bran said.

"Like what?" Davos asked looking out the window.

"I could have known that one of our allies would go mad, burn this city down killing hundreds of thousands of people, not tell anyone, and then use that opportunity to take the Iron Throne for myself," Bran considered.

"That would be a bitch move," Davos agreed.

* * *

Dany, Varys, Jorah, Missandei, and Grey Worm could see the green glow a distance away from Dragonstone Island. "Ser Davos is reporting that the city is on fire with a great many casualties. The Golden Company has been destroyed, but Cersie's forces have been greatly weakened. They're pulling back to the Red Keep," Varys said.

"I hope you don't blame me for this," Dany said self-absorbed.

"Not at all, Your Grace," Varys replied sarcastically.

"I saw this coming," Jorah frowned.

"This is why we send in the pawns first," Dany said ruthlessly. "Are your troops in position?" Dany asked Grey Worm.

"They are, my queen," he replied.

"There could be more wild fire that hasn't yet been ignited. It could be a trap," Missandei warned.

"I agree," Jorah seconded.

"Have the Unsullied stationed outside the gate. Make sure the Lannisters do not escape. I'll take care of Cersei, myself," Dany said and then went down the stairs to her dragons.

"It's too risky, Khaleesei," Jorah argued against.

"Every day we wait, the Undead grow stronger. Their victims become more numerous. There are lot of hurt people in that city. They need me," Dany told him.

Dany then got on Drogon's back. The two dragons took off straight to King's Landing.

* * *

The Unsullied army stood at attention as two dragons flew overheard. In the night and with smoke in the air, the scorpion crews found it difficult to see anything. Drogon and Rhaegar ignored the scorpions entirely and went into the interior of the city towards the Red Keep.

Cersei watched the scene unfold with some surprise. "We just need one lucky shot," Cersei said.

"The dragons are past our defenses. We put all of our scorpions on the walls," Qyburn reported.

"Well...shit," Cersei said disappointed.

She then noticed the two dragons flying over the city towards the Red Keep. "I've assessed the situation, and I'm leaving," Cersei said walking off.

As Drogon and Rhaegar fired on the Red Keep, Cersei, Mountain, Qyburn, and a squad of Lannister soldiers went down to the basement level towards the secret exits. A Lannister captain came to greet her. "My queen, we cannot hold the Red Keep," he admitted. "Not with two dragons and an army outside our gates."

"We will regroup. Rumor has it that the Undead are on their way here. Let them fight each other to the death," Cersei said. She then turned to the group of frightened Lannister men.

"The sun will shine upon us again. We will survive," she told them all.

Cersei then left the Red Keep and then King's Landing with her remaining people.


	10. Season 8 Episode 3: Part 3

The next morning as the city still burned, ten thousand Unsullied soldiers stood at attention outside the gate. Dany, Jorah, Grey Worm, Missandei, and Varys were present. The dragons were nearby but out of range of the scorpions. A token Lannister force was still present on the wall.

"Can you imagine if I brought the Dothraki here. They would rape the fuck out of this city," Dany mused.

"Indeed," Varys said dryly.

"Ser Jorah," Dany motioned.

Jorah nodded and walked up to the gate within range of their arrows. "Lay down your arms, and you will live. You have my queen's word."

The Lannister men considered the force in front of them. "Ring the bells and open the gates," the commander ordered. The archers lowered their bows and the Lannister men dropped their swords.

Dany then heard the bells of the city's surrender. Jorah smiled happy it was all over. The gates then opened for them. "You have won, Khaleesei," Missandei said happy for her.

Dany glared at the city walls. "Fuck them bells."

"Wait...what?" Varys thought he misheard.

Dany then smiled and laughed at him. "You should have seen the look on your face."

"People are dying," Varys reminded her.

"Of course," Dany said becoming serious again. She turned to Grey Worm. "Send in a few squads to look for any additional wild fire drums. Check the whole city thoroughly."

"That could take hours," Grey Worm told her.

"Better start right away then," Dany said obviously.

"The people require relief now," Varys reminded her.

"I'm not going to send in all my men into a trap, Lord Varys," Dany disagreed.

* * *

Jon, Sansa, and Arya had a little meeting at the weirwood tree at Winterfell. "You understand we would all...," Jon said and then lost his train of thought.

"She left us to die," Sansa said accusingly.

"It's all a part of her grand strategy," Jon said.

"Jon, you truly know nothing. She's keeping us at bay, because she doesn't trust us. She has Bran as a hostage," Sansa said obviously.

"Well, if you weren't such a bitch, maybe this wouldn't have happened," Jon pointed out.

"Jon, just stop. At this rate, we're all going to die of starvation and cold," Arya said.

"You have a plan to break through their lines?" Jon asked sarcastically. "I would love to hear it."

"You know what? I've assessed the situation, and I'm leaving. I have people to kill," Arya said. She waved her hand in front of her face becoming an Undead Arya and walked off.

"What the fuck did I just see?" Jon wondered.

"That was pretty creepy," Sansa agreed.

Arya marched out onto the snowy plains, past the obstacles in front of Winterfell, and passed through the Undead lines like a total bad-ass.

* * *

Later in the day, Grey Worm reported to Dany. "We have searched the city and found no other wild fire drums."

"Satisfied?" Varys asked sarcastically.

"I don't think I like your tone, Lord Varys," Dany said displeased.

"I don't give a shit, Your Grace," Varys replied.

"March the men inside and go help people...or whatever," Dany waved Grey Worm off.

"Truly a woman of the people," Varys said snidely.

"I don't have to take this. I have breasts and you don't," Dany shot back.

"Fair enough, Your Grace," Varys allowed.

* * *

Dany arrived at the Great Hall of the Red Keep and spotted the Iron Throne for the first time. She cautiously approached it and then sat down. "Oh, fuck yes," she said feeling how uncomfortable it was but not caring.

"What is the bidding of the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms?" Jorah asked.

"First, to make you, Ser Jorah, my Hand," Dany said. Missandei placed the Hand button in Jorah's hand. "From this time forth, you are to wipe my ass."

"With pleasure," Jorah smiled as he put the button on.

"As my first official act, the Lannister men shall be pardoned and put into service," Dany ordered.

"A wise choice," Jorah agreed.

"The scorpions are to be taken down from the wall and placed in around the city in buildings not already destroyed. They are to be concealed and refitted with dragon-glass spears. Scorpion decoys are to be placed on the walls," Dany ordered.

"You believe the Night King will target the decoys giving us the opportunity to shoot him down," Jorah realized.

"Precisely," Dany smiled.

"Assuming the Night King is fooled," Varys doubted."We don't know his abilities or insights."

"Well, we're going to do the best we can," Dany frowned at him.

* * *

Jaime was brought before Dany and Varys in chains and ragged clothing. He looked as though he had been tortured, which he had. "You want me to do a victory dance for you?" he asked sarcastically.

"Cersei escaped the Red Keep with some of her men. Where did they go?" Dany asked.

"No fucking idea," Jaime lied.

"Are you aware that Cersei nearly burned down all of King's Landing killing tens of thousands of people before we sacked it?" Dany asked.

"I am now," Jaime said not surprised in the slightest.

"Were you aware of the wild fire drums underneath the city?" Dany asked.

"I figured they were there, but I didn't know for sure," Jaime lied.

"Bullshit!" Dany shouted echoing through the hall.

"Release me, and I'll kill the bitch, myself," Jaime volunteered.

"But which bitch are you referring to?" Dany wondered with a smile. Dany made a motion to Grey Worm. He went behind Jaime and stabbed him in the back and then slit his throat.

"Just the way you killed my father," Dany glared as Jaime bled out.

Dany then turned to Varys. "Use your little birds and find me that bitch."

* * *

Jon addressed some disgruntled Northerners in the war council. "We have sent ravens but have had no reply. We can last for a few days longer before we run out of food. I say we make our stand here and try to break through their lines," Jon said.

"Here, here," the Northern lords agreed.

"There is great risk involved. We are outnumbered here," Tyrion warned.

"We're not going to starve to death. Better to go out fighting," Lyanna said.

"There's still hope Queen Daenerys may provide reinforcements," Tyrion said.

The Northerners proceeded to curse and ridicule him. "You're doing great, Tyrion," Sansa mocked.

Tyrion finished his wine cup. "To battle then."

* * *

As the Northerners prepared for battle, Tyrion oversaw the use of the catapults. They fired a few shots towards the Undead lines. The fireballs fell well short of the Undead. The Undead simply stared ahead unmoved. "You were saying?" Tyrion asked Hound.

"It was worth a try," he shrugged.

"We'll just have to fight through them. Fuck it," Tyrion realized.

Jon got on horseback with his "suicide squad" of Tormund, Gendry, Beric, and the Hound "Our goal is to bait them into attacking Winterfell itself," Jon told them. The gates then opened allowing them to ride out.

Tyrion watched as Jon's Calvary went straight for the Undead lines. They leaped over the obstacles and trenches on their way. Jon and the others readied their swords and then slammed into the Undead lines. What proceeded was fierce fighting as Beric lit up his sword and thrashed at the Undead. Using Valyrian steel blades, the Undead shattered as they were hit. However, they were quickly overwhelmed and sent off their horses.

"Run back!" Jon shouted.

The Suicide Squad ran as fast as they could away from the Undead back to Winterfell hoping the Undead would follow them. Instead of the entire force, only a handful of Undead followed with unnatural speed. "Fuck this," Hound said as he ran and beat the Undead away from him with his ax.

Gendry ran into Winterfell first with the others not too far behind. "Now," Tyrion said to his archers. The Winterfell archers fired on the Undead destroying them with dragon-glass tipped arrows. The gates then closed behind the Hound's fat ass.

"Let's not do that again," Hound said dryly.

The Undead consumed their horses in a frenzy but kept their position.


	11. Season 8 Episode 3: Part 4

That night, Jon Snow led a meeting on how to get through the Undead siege with Tyrion, Sansa, Hound, Brienne, Tormund, and some other Northern leaders. "At dawn, we're going to hit them in the center breaking through. We're going to push their lines apart allowing our Calvary to get through to hopefully bring us reinforcements and supplies. When they all get through, we retreat back to Winterfell."

"How will the Calvary be able to get back to us?" Brienne asked.

"We will have to do another frontal assault on their lines to let them get through," Jon replied.

"This is a shitty plan," Sansa critiqued.

"You got a better one?" Jon asked annoyed.

"We noticed recently that the Undead are busy building a tunnel under Winterfell. Don't know how long we have until they breach us," Tormund noted.

"Our food supplies are running low. We won't last much longer," Tyrion added.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright. I was of the notion that the Undead would immediately attack us. I didn't know they would just surround us and starve us out," Jon admitted.

"No one is surprised you didn't know, Jon," Sansa replied.

"Fuck you, Sansa. I'm trying my best here," Jon said defensively.

"I tell you what. I ain't starving to death and going out like a bitch. I'll die fighting," Hound said.

"You'll get your chance," Jon assured him.

* * *

On the wall of Winterfell, Jon looked out at the Undead staring back at him. "Tomorrow, I'm kicking your ass," he said softly.

The entire forest in front of him suddenly erupted in flames. "Holy shit!" Jon realized. The alarm bells went off in Winterfell as flames roared through the forests where the Undead had been stationed. Jon then saw the faint outline of two dragons.

The Undead ran at full speed towards Winterfell as Drogon and Rhaegar blasted them with dragon fire. "Archers!" Jon shouted.

Defenders quickly mobilized as the Undead rushed the castle. The Undead fell into the trenches and then struggled to get back up. As they did, the two dragons blasted them. Those that got past the trenches were bottle-necked by obstacles. Catapults threw fire balls in the air blasting large holes in the Undead formations. Drogon and Rhaegar flew around Winterfell blasting the Undead from the other sides and behind. Northern archers fired non-stop flaming arrows into the Undead blasting them to pieces upon impact.

The spike obstacles were lit on fire by Drogon keeping the Undead at bay. The Winterfell defenders kept firing at the Undead as they simply stood there. Some of the Undead then fell into the flames only to stay on fire. The Northerns cheered as the Undead were kept back. The ground then erupted as the Undead tunnel collapsed underneath Winterfell.

"Keep firing at them out there," Jon ordered his archers. He then took out his sword and began fighting the Undead inside the keep.

Drogon and Rhaegar made short work of the Undead outside the castle destroying the majority of their forces. What remained were inside the tunnels. The Northern Infantry battled the Undead and tried to bottle-neck them as they came up from the ground. Additional cracks in the ground led to more fronts.

Podrick Payne became overwhelmed and torn apart. "No, Podrick!" Brienne freaked out and began a tear through the Undead by herself.

"I'd like to see them kill me again," Beric taunted the Undead with his flaming sword. "Oh, fuck!" he said as he was overwhelmed and sliced up no less than a dozen times.

"You think that's enough to kill me?" he said after he was sliced another dozen times. He then got sliced again in the back. "Okay, that'll do it," he said falling to the ground dead.

As the battle raged at the floor level, Tyrion and Sansa looked on from a tower. "This could be our last night, alive," he said.

"Possibly," Sansa said downing another wine glass.

"We could...," Tyrion suggested.

"I'm still not going to fuck you," Sansa refused.

"Am I really that repulsive?" Tyrion wondered.

"Yes, yes you are," Sansa replied.

Dany noticed the Undead flowing through a tunnel system underground. She went straight for the tunnel entrances and blasted it with dragon fire. The fire went through the tunnels roasting the Undead. After an hour of intense fighting, the battle was over.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** First, I'd like to say thanks for all the reviews, favorites, followers, and hits. It has been encouraging. I know I will never get even close to the brilliance that is the GOT creative writers, but I will try my best. Just to be clear here, the Undead army here is only a small fraction of the overall force. The Night King is still marching his way to King's Landing.


	12. Season 8 Episode 4: Part 1

The next morning, Dany and Tyrion looked on as the Northerners burned their dead. "You have been a faithful and competent Hand," Dany complimented.

"Thank you, Your Grace. Although, we did lose quite a few," Tyrion frowned. "Mostly to disease and malnutrition, mind you."

"I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier," Dany said with false sincerity.

"How is my...brother Jaime?" Tyrion asked.

"He's still a prisoner," Dany said obviously.

"Of course, but is he well?" Tyrion asked.

"Yes, very well," Dany lied.

"Good," Tyrion nodded.

"I sacked King's Landing, but your sister escaped with some of her men. Finding her is my top priority," Dany said.

"Shouldn't defending King's Landing be your top priority?" Tyrion wondered.

"I want her found. Do you know where she could be?" Dany asked.

"No, I don't," Tyrion lied.

Dany sighed at that. Jon walked up to Dany and Tyrion fatigued from the battle. "Thanks for coming. You saved our asses," Jon said appreciatively.

"I would do anything for the North," Dany lied.

"They see that now. They know that you are their rightful queen," Jon said.

"I hope so," Dany smiled. "I need the both of you to come with me back to King's Landing. The Undead will arrive soon."

"Of course," Jon readily agreed. "How's my brother, Bran?"

"He's with Ser Davos," Dany said vaguely.

"Alright, I just have to go back and pat my dog," Jon said running back towards Winterfell.

"Really?" Dany said unimpressed.

Tyrion sighed and got on Drogon holding onto Dany for dear life. Jon then came back and got onto Rhaegar. The two dragons then took off back towards King's Landing.

* * *

At Riverrun, Bronn was enjoying being a lord. To celebrate his newfound power and riches, he whored around. "So, I told that Cersei bitch that I was going to kill her two brothers. But how the fuck was I supposed to do that with Winterfell surrounded by the Undead? Then, King's Landing gets sacked, so I figured I'll just make myself at home here with all my riches," Bronn said to a still dressed whore.

"You're so smart...like a fox," the whore smiled.

"I would never betray Jaime and Tyrion. Not after everything they've done for me," Bronn said reflectively.

"You're such a good friend," the whore said and then slit his throat.

Bronn gagged surprised and then the whore took off her mask to reveal herself to be Arya. He stared at her in shock and then fell off his bed, dead. Arya casually wiped off her blade, collected as much gold coin as she could, and then went on her merry way.

* * *

Jorah, the real Hand, sat on the Iron Throne as Davos and Bran were placed before him. "Is this anyway to treat a friend?" Davos complained as he was in chains.

"I understand you know something that could compromise our queen's claim to the throne," Jorah said.

"I know no such thing," Davos denied.

"I told him Jon Snow is Aegon Targaryen, the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and the rightful heir to the Iron Throne," Bran said calmly.

"You little shit," Davos said angrily.

Jorah motioned to the Unsullied guards. "You could at least give me a proper death by doing it yourself, you lousy coward," Davos said peeved.

Jorah got off the Iron Throne, took out his sword, and pointed it Davos. "I'm sorry, old friend," Jorah said sincerely.

"I'm sorry, too," Davos replied.

Jorah stabbed Davos through and had the Unsullied take his body away. "Are you going to kill me as well?" Bran asked.

"No, we need you to lure the Night King to King's Landing, but I can't have you telling anyone else about Jon," Jorah said and then had the Unsullied take Bran away to a prison cell.

* * *

The two dragons and their riders arrived at King's Landing and landed in a large square near the Red Keep. "What the fuck happened here?" Jon wondered of the ruined city.

"I didn't do it," Dany said defensively. "Cersei ignited wild fire all over the city to cover her escape. I need you to help with the city's defenses. We will fight the Undead city block-by-city block if we have to," Dany said.

"I'll take my leave then," Jon said joining Grey Worm.

"I'd like to see my brother if that's alright," Tyrion requested.

"Of course," Dany allowed.

The two of them entered the Great Hall where Jorah sat on the Iron Throne with a Hand button on his chest. "Am I missing something?" Tyrion wondered.

"Seize him," Dany ordered her guards.

The Unsullied instantly arrested Tyrion. "I'll ask you one last time. Where did Cersei go?" Dany demanded.

"You executed my brother, didn't you?" Tyrion realized.

"He killed my father," Dany replied.

"Your father was a mad-man, and you're following in his footsteps," Tyrion said angrily.

"Your brother was an asshole. However, with him dead and Cersei gone, you are the last Lannister in this city," Dany said. "So, either give up Cersei or suffer her fate."

"Your Grace, Tyrion is innocent of the crimes of his family. You, of all people, should appreciate that fact," Varys said.

"A man that killed his own father, his own lover, and spent most of his life whoring is not innocent," Dany replied.

"And neither are you, Your Grace," Varys said boldly.

"How dare you speak that way to our queen," Jorah said pissed-off.

"It's alright. Lord Varys makes a good point. We shall let the people decide his fate. Isn't that what you want, Lord Varys? For the people to have power?" Dany mocked.

The Unsullied ripped the Hand button off Tyrion's coat. "Careful, this coat costs more than your education," Tyrion said bitterly.

"Take him away," Dany ordered.

A Dothraki Calvary commander then arrived on his horse. "Our men are now inside the city. We killed as many of the Undead as we could, but they're approaching in mass. There are tens of thousands of them." he reported.

"What are your losses?" Dany asked.

"A few hundred," he replied.

"Look, I understand it's your practice to rape and pillage everywhere you go, but I need you to not do that in King's Landing. After this war with the Undead is over, then you can go out and do your thing across Westeros," Dany said.

"We understand. We can abstain a few days," the Dothraki replied.

"I appreciate your discipline and understanding," Dany said.

"Anything for our Khaleesei," the Dothraki smiled and then rode off with his horse.

* * *

On the island of Pentos, Cersei looked out over the ocean waters with the Mountain at her side. Qyburn came up to her with a grimace on his face. "I have bad news, Your Grace," he said.

"Don't call me that. I'm no longer a queen," Cersei said bitterly.

"All the same, our spies have informed me that Ser Jaime was executed by Daenerys Targaryen. I am very sorry for your loss," Qyburn said.

Cersei just stared out to sea emotionless. "Thank you for telling me," she said. "Leave me," she said of everyone attending.

Once she was alone, Cersei felt her pregnant belly and then sobbed.


	13. Season 8 Episode 4: Part 2

The Hound caught up with Arya as she walked down to King's Landing on his white horse. "What are you doing out here all alone, you little shit?" Hound asked her.

"None of your business. I have people to kill," Arya replied.

"Like whom?" Hound asked.

"Like Cersei, the Night King, and Daenerys," Arya said.

"You really are crazy. Let me take you to King's Landing on my horse," Hound offered.

"Alright," Arya agreed getting on.

"Kill whoever you want but leave the Mountain to me," Hound told her.

"Deal," Arya agreed.

The two then quickly rode off towards King's Landing.

* * *

Dany looked out her window as the massive Undead army approached bringing winter with them. Civilians flooded King's Landing to escape them. "Close the gates," Dany ordered Grey Worm as the Undead got close enough. A flag was put up and immediately the Unsullied closed the gates. The civilians still caught outside were soon massacred by the Undead. The Night King stepped out and looked over the walls of King Landing. Raising his hands, he took control of the dead civilians he had just killed.

"We should charge them with a frontal assault with the Dothraki Calvary, then have our Infantry fight them outside the castle walls, have our artillery in front of our Infantry, and use the dragons to hunt down the Night King instead of engaging the Undead army," Jon suggested.

"What the fuck did I just hear?" Dany wondered.

"Err...I have a better plan," Jorah said. Dothraki Calvary will be kept in the rear until we destroy Viserion. We need to bait the Night King into flying over the city where he will be vulnerable to concealed scorpion positions."

"How do we get Viserion to stay still for a decent shot?" Jon asked.

"You will attack Viserion directly with Rhaegar. With the dragons attacking each other, they will provide the scorpions a perfect shot. A dragon-glass spear will hurt Rhaegar but not likely kill him. It will destroy Viserion on contact," Dany said.

"Alright, I'll do it," Jon readily agreed.

"Once Viserion is destroyed, we will have control of the air raining down dragon fire on the Undead army. The Dothraki Calvary can then harasses the Undead army on the sides in hit-and-run attacks," Jorah said.

"And what of the Unsullied?" Jon asked.

"They will remain inside the walls in case they are breached," Dany said.

"Sounds like you have everything figured out," Jon said.

"Of course I do," Dany smiled.

* * *

However, Dany wasn't perfectly certain, so she went into the dungeon to meet with Bran. She had the Unsullied guards open his cell, so she could talk to him one-on-one. "They say you can see the future. Do you have any insight for me?" Dany asked him.

"Even if I knew the future, I wouldn't tell you," Bran said.

"And why is that? Is it to preserve time and space?" Dany asked.

"No, it's because I'm an asshole," Bran replied.

"You want me to fall, so you can take the throne for yourself," Dany said wide-eyed.

"You got me," Bran smirked.

"I don't think you know the future," Dany doubted.

"What makes you think that?" Bran wondered.

"Because if you did, you would have predicted this," Dany said and then motioned to her Unsullied guards.

The Unsullied guards came in and stabbed Bran several times until he was dead.

* * *

Upon Bran's death, the Night King gave a noticeable flinch. The Undead army then charged the walls. Lannister archers fired non-stop flaming arrows down on the Undead. While many of the Undead fell and shattered, large swaths got to the walls and start climbing over each other to get over the wall. The Night King watched the battle for a few moments and then walked out of sight.

Catapults inside the castle walls fired over the walls into the Undead army creating large holes in their swarms. The holes were quickly filled by more Undead. Jon watched the battle from the Red Keep with some nervousness. Dany joined him giving nothing away.

"Any sign of the Night King?" Dany asked.

"No," Jon frowned.

"Let's ride," Dany said leading him to where the dragons were.

The Unsullied stayed still with pikes ready in case the walls were ever breached. Soldiers on the walls would occasionally encounter the Undead getting to the top of the walls only to push them off. The archer fired furiously to keep the Undead from getting to them. Boiling oil was poured down on the Undead from the towers.

Drogon and Rhaegar then entered the fight blasting the Undead army with dragon fire. Within seconds, hundreds of Undead were destroyed by the fire. Viserion then appeared a distance away blasting away the decoy scorpions with blue fire. Jon immediately took Rhaegar to intercept him while Drogon continued to fire on the Undead.

Soldiers on the wall were fried by Viserion's fire as he tore through several decoy scorpion positions. The Night King eyed the scorpion positions curiously as the soldiers abandoned them quickly without taking a shot at him. The Night King then noticed Rhaegar approaching to intercept him. Viserion dodged Rhaegar's attack and blasted a large hole in the walls. The Undead immediately flowed into the city. Rhaegar slammed into Viserion with both dragons biting and clawing at one another. Jon took out his Valyrion sword and tried to get at the Night King.

As the Undead rushed in, the Unsullied led by Grey Worm used the streets to bottle-neck them. Putting their pikes into position, the Unsullied allowed the Undead to slam into them. The Unsullied kept their footing and then sliced forward with dragon-glass tipped spears shattering the Undead with each coordinated thrust.

Viserion and Rhaegar fought in the air over the city. Occasionally, Viserion would fire blue fire on the city blasting apart buildings and roasting civilians. Concealed scorpion crews aimed at the two dragons as they fought int the air. Rhaegar and Jon fought to keep Viserion from moving with both dragons furiously flapping their wings just to stay in the air. Scorpion crews fired a volley at both dragons. The dragon-glass spears hit both dragons hitting Rhaegar to the chest, the neck, and then to the head. Viserion was hit as well and shattered immediately upon being hit.

The dying Rhaegar fell to the ground and collapsed several buildings on impact. Jon was thrown off Rhaegar on impact and fell to the ground injured. The Night King fell to the ground on his back. After a brief pause, the Night King got back up and looked around.

Dany felt a pain in her heart as she saw both dragons go down in the city. With tens of thousands of Undead still outside the city, she continued to rain down fire on them. The Night King eyed Dany on her dragon as she roasted his army with nothing to stop her. Looking to his Undead army that had breached the wall, he calmly walked towards them.

"You coward? Fight me like a man," Jon challenged.

The Night King turned back to Jon with curiosity. "That's right, fucker. I'm right here. I've been waiting a long time for this," Jon said to him.

The Night King slowly took out his own sword.


	14. Season 8 Episode 4: Part 3

All of King's Landing was alive as catapults continued to fire bombs against the Undead still outside the wall. Archers fired until they ran out and then engaged the climbing Undead with their dragon-glass swords. The Unsullied continued to hold continuous flows of Undead coming through the broken wall. Dany fired at will on the Undead army with dragon fire. Jorah led a Dothraki charge against the Undead destroying isolated units and then pulled back in harassment attacks.

Hound and Arya entered King's Landing through a secret tunnel and looked around at the fighting. "This is some fucked-up shit," Hound observed.

"Go back to Winterfell if you're afraid," Arya told him.

"Fuck you, little girl," Hound shot back.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jon and the Night King faced off with their swords with no one around them. The Night King smirked at Jon and then motioned for him to come to him. Jon yelled as he charged the Night King with his sword. The two clashed with their blades beginning their epic duel. The Night King expertly beat Jon back and forced Jon back where he nearly fell over rubble. The Night King got a few cuts on Jon and then slammed Jon's blade forcing him down to the ground.

"Aegon Targaryen," the Night King scoffed.

"Wait...what?" Jon wondered.

"You know nothing," the Night King told him.

"Here's what I do know. I'm the mother-fucker," Jon said and then unleashed his hidden power. His sword ignited in flames. "The Lord of Light is on my side. That means you're fucked."

The Night King aggressively swiped at Jon creating sparks with each impact. Despite Jon's boast, he soon was getting his ass kicked by the Night King's superior swordsmanship. As the fight went on, the Night King summoned dead bodies to his aid.

"That's cheating," Jon complained as he battled Undead while avoiding the Night King's strikes.

Dany noticed Jon and the Night King dueling in the city. She turned away from her slaughter of the Undead army and went straight for him. Without waiting for Jon to get out of the way, she fired on the Night King blasting away the city block around him. Jon ran as fast as he could as the flames nearly overtook him. He noticed his clothes were on fire but his skin wasn't burned.

The flames suddenly ceased by the Night King's power. "Bitch, please," the Night King smirked. He then took his sword to throw at her like a spear. Alarmed, Dany quickly flew off.

The Night King then turned back to Jon and blocked his attack just in time. The two struggled against each other with their blades until the Night King disarmed Jon throwing his sword to the side. Jon then went for a knife. "Come at me, fucker. I'm not afraid of you. I am a Crow of the Night Watch! I am King of the North! I am the MOTHER-FUCKER!"

The Night King pointed his sword at Jon and then suddenly a dagger sliced into the Night King's gut. He looked around and saw Undead Arya with her arm outstretched. The Night King quickly became ice and shattered. The entire Undead army then shattered with him.

Arya took off her mask revealing her healthy self. "Too easy," she smirked.

"What the fuck?" Jon wondered.

"When this is all over, I'll show you some pointers, Jon," Arya smiled and then walked off.

"What about my destiny? What about my purpose? Who am I? And who the fuck is Aegon Targaryen?" Jon wondered.

Grey Worm led a victorious chant with his Unsullied. Jorah and the Dothraki raised their blades in the air at their victory. Dany smiled as she saw the Undead army shatter all around King's Landing. The Hound emerged from the flames rescuing as many civilians as he could, his fear of the flames overcome.

Dany landed Drogon on a building in the city square. Drogon roared in victory and the people cheered for her. "They love me. They really really love me," Dany said wiping away a tear.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** So, many of you wanted me to write a "betterer" story than what we got. While I do aim to do that (barely) I want to stay true to mocking the season as a whole. I have a super-serious outline of how I would re-write 8x5 and 8x6 in the works. For those who wanted to know the Night King's motivation, I say TOO BAD!


	15. Season 8 Episode 5: Part 1

Early the next morning, Varys greeted Arya and Hound. "Greetings, Lady Stark. My little birds tell me that Cersei and her party are on the island of Pentos. I would prefer it if you killed Cersei before our noble queen burns the entire island."

"I have to see my brother first," Arya insisted.

"Ah, Lord Stark has already left for Winterfell by ship," Varys lied.

"Nobody calls him out for being an asshole, because he's crippled and weird," Arya frowned.

"Indeed," Varys agreed.

"Let's go," Hound said impatiently. The two left on horses towards the coast.

* * *

Dany, Jorah, Jon, Grey Worm, and Missandei went to the stadium outside King's Landing. Varys joined them late taking his place near Dany. "I give to you, democracy," Dany mocked Varys as Tyrion was brought out in chains. The crowds instantly booed him.

Dany then stood up and addressed the crowd. "Here before you is Tyrion Lannister, the Hand to King Joeffry Bratheon who we all know was the bastard child of the incestuous coupling of Cersei and Jaime Lannister. He murdered his own father, Tywin Lannister, as well as his lover. He practiced a life of whoring and spending your money for his own decadence," Dany said to the crowd.

The crowd immediately booed Tyrion. "However, he did save this city from the invasion of Stanis Bratheon, governed the city of Mereen competently, defended Winterfell from the Undead, and was my loyal Hand for a time," Dany continued.

The crowd was relatively silent to that. "So, I ask you, is he guilty or innocent? Does he deserve life or death?" Dany asked the crowd.

Tyrion stared at the crowd wide-eyed wondering what would be his fate. Dany extended her hand out with her thumb to the side. "Live?" she asked.

Some in the crowd voiced their support for Tyrion. "Death?" she asked.

The crowd immediately was on their feet hollering and shouting for Tyrion's death. "Your Grace, this is a farce of justice," Varys said.

"This is what you want, isn't it?" Dany asked him.

"I'm actually a little uncomfortable with this," Jon admitted.

"Who are you kidding? You're not going to do shit," Jorah scoffed.

"I'll be the first to say, I am not innocent. But this is not justice. You should demand from your queen trials and judges. If you need me to be your scapegoat, let me be the last," Tyrion said to the crowd.

Drogon then arrived and entered the stadium. Drogon snarled at Tyrion getting closer to him. The crowd cheered enthusiastically as they saw the dragon. Dany heard the crowds enthusiasm and lowered her thumb.

"Dracarys," Dany ordered.

Drogon blasted Tyrion with dragon fire turning him to ash. The crowd cheered pleased. "Bring out the other prisoners," Dany smiled.

* * *

Soon thereafter, Dany assembled a council to discuss the rights of man. "I have drafted some recommendations for you, Your Grace," Varys said taking out a scroll of parchment.

"Freedom of religion, the press, and speech while prohibiting the establishment of a state religion," Varys read.

"I like it but there has to be an exception clause for the king or queen of Westeros. No one is allowed to criticize me," Dany said.

"Very well," Varys said adding the exception in the margins.

"Do continue," Dany entertained him.

"Freedom for every citizen to bear arms to hunt or to defend themselves," Varys read.

"Except for the capital. No one is to be armed except the army in the capital," Dany smiled seeing no one on her council being armed with any kind of weapon.

"Freedom to not be compelled to quarter soldiers," Varys continued.

"Except during war-time," Dany said.

"That seems a little vague," Varys said.

"Are we still in war-time?" Jon asked.

"Yes, until Cersei Lannister is captured or killed," Dany said.

"Cersei is no longer a threat to the realm, Your Grace," Varys said.

"If you want your rights, find me that bitch," Dany replied.

"Moving on, the freedom against warrant-less searches, freedom from self-incrimination, freedom to a speedy trial, a jury of one's peers, prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment," Varys read on.

"Would turning a man to ash with dragon fire constitute cruel and unusual punishment?" Jon wondered.

"I don't think it does. What do you think, Hand of the Queen?" Dany asked Jorah.

"I don't think so," Jorah doubted.

"Freedom from slavery," Varys finished.

Dany looked over the parchment, took a quill, and began writing all over it creating exception clauses everywhere. She then blew on it to dry the ink. "We have made history today. My Hand, call forth all the Lords and Ladies of Westeros to come to the capital. I wish to address them all."

"Why do I get the distinct impression you intend to kill them all in one swift stroke?" Varys asked.

"Don't be so cynical, Lord Varys," Dany rebuked him.

"I would like to see my brother if you don't mind," Jon pressed.

"He already left to Winterfell," Dany lied.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to see him leave," Jon said disappointed.

"Your work here is done, my love. I would like to send you back to Winterfell as Warden of the North. There, you can hunt with your dog," Dany suggested.

"I want to stay with you, though," Jon said giving her puppy-dog eyes.

"Then I shall have you," Dany said adoringly.

* * *

Missandei came to Dany to attend to her. "Oh, Missandei, if anything happened to you, I would lose my mind," Dany said honestly.

"Nonsense. I'm not that important," Missandei said as she re-braided Dany's hair.

"I have to tell you a secret you can't tell anyone else," Dany said.

"Of course," Missandei said loyally.

"Jon Snow is actually the son of my brother, Rhaegar. His real name is Aegon Targaryen," Dany revealed.

"That would make him heir to the Iron Throne," Missandei realized.

"Yes, yes it does," Dany confirmed.

"So...when are you going to kill him?" Missandei asked.

"Stop it," Dany said playfully pushing her.

"But seriously, what are you going to do with him?" Missandei asked.

"I don't know. I feel like my Targaryen blood calls for him, desires him, demands him," Dany said thoughtfully.

"Far be it for me to say you shouldn't. I'm with a man without a cock," Missandei said.

"How is that working out for you?" Dany wondered.

"Torgo came back with a cock made out of dragon-glass. It's so smooth, black, and thick," Missandei smiled.

"Oh, behave," Dany said as the two women giggled.

* * *

The Hound and Arya made small talk while they were on a sail boat to Pentos. "I finally don't need this anymore," Arya said taking out a dragon-glass cock out of her and throwing it overboard.

"Why the fuck did you have that in you this whole time?" Hound asked incredulously.

"In case I was killed and raised back from the dead. If that ever happened, the dragon-glass cock inside me would destroy me," Arya said obviously.

"Smart girl," Hound allowed.

* * *

That night, Dany and Jon had a romantic evening. "You were so brave fighting the Night King. I'm not even mad that you got Rhaegar killed," Dany said.

"I know, right?" Jon smiled.

"Everything in my body calls out for you, Jon. There's just something about you that instinctively makes you attractive to me. I think it's your blood," Dany said wide-eyed.

"But I'm a bastard," Jon said confused.

"Not to me, you're not," Dany said.

"I don't know, Dany," Jon said walking away from her. "Something about this doesn't seem right. I can't put my finger on it, but I can't do this."

"You're rejecting me?" Dany asked crazy eyed.

"It's not you, it's me," Jon admitted.

Dany gave Jon a stunned look. "What if I told you I would burn the whole fucking city down if you didn't give me your cock right now?"

"I have to stick to my gut, Dany. And my gut tells me I shouldn't do this," Jon said.

"Well, alright then," Dany said disappointed. "I think you should go back to Winterfell."

Jon nodded. "Alright, first thing in the morning."


	16. Season 8 Episode 5: Part 2

The Lannister hideout on Pentos was in ruins, everyone was sprawled out dead on the field, and two assassins sat down for a well-deserved drink. Cersei had her throat slashed, a dagger was firmly placed in the Mountain's eye, and Qyburn's head was smashed in.

"You can take that bloody mask off. You look weird looking like Jaime with the body of a little girl," Hound said to her.

Arya took off her Jaime mask revealing her true face. "It's to fulfill the prophecy," she said.

"Prophecies are bullshit," Hound remarked.

"You still bitter I killed the Mountain?" Arya asked.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Hound said pissed-off. "I'm dueling him to the death with my mighty sword and then you come out of nowhere and stick a dagger through his head."

"It's just...you were getting your ass kicked," Arya chuckled.

"I would rather die than see what just happened," Hound shook his head. "Instead of dying in a glorious battle with tall towers and fiery explosions, I'm going to die of old age shitting my pants."

Arya took out her list unconcerned and crossed off the Mountain and Cersei. "You should have seen the look on her face when I slit her throat."

"That was pretty funny," Hound agreed. "So, who's next on your kill list?"

"I don't know. I'm sure I'll come up with something," Arya figured.

* * *

At Winterfell, Theon entered Sansa's chambers. "You asked for me, my lady?" he asked.

"Ramsey Bolton damaged me just as he had damaged you. I can't have an heir," Sansa said sadly.

"I'm sorry," Theon said looking away.

"But I don't want to be alone forever. You're the only man I can be with. I want you, Theon," she confessed.

"Lady Sansa, I...," Theon didn't know what to say.

"I've declared our independence from King's Landing. The Northerners demanded it of me. We can form an alliance with the Iron Islands now," Sansa said ambitiously.

"We could," Theon agreed. "But...I sacked Winterfall. I was an asshole."

"Water under the bridge," Sansa smiled.

"Alright. I accept," Theon smiled for the first time in ages. They then passionately kissed.

* * *

Dany entered the Great Hall and sat on the Iron Throne. "This is never going to get old," she smiled. Jorah and Varys took positions on her right and left. Lords and Ladies from the seven kingdoms were assembled in the hall. Many of them were new faces after the Undead had ravaged the entire continent.

"I have called you all here to King's Landing to form a grand council that will be charged with passing laws, taxes, and appropriate funding. The laws you pass in this hall, assuming I do not veto them, will be enforced by me and my grand army.

The Lords and Ladies all applauded her nervously as the Unsullied guards were on the sides of the hall and entrances. "Should you fail to properly represent your people, I will take action to appoint a new Lord," Dany added.

Dany then looked over the seated crowd and noticed Sansa or any other Northern representatives were absent. "Where the fuck is the North?" she asked Jorah.

He merely shrugged. "They may be still on their way," Varys suggested.

"Bullshit," Dany said angrily.

"Six out of seven kingdoms ain't bad, Your Grace," Varys excused.

"If I allow one to slip through my fingers, others will follow," Dany said while glaring at Yara Greyjoy.

"What do you plan to do?" Jorah asked concerned.

"I am going to send a message they'll never forget," Dany said furious.

"Your Grace, forcing the kingdoms to stay together is the work of a tyrant," Varys warned.

"I have given the common people rights they have never received, liberated slaves and captives, saved everyone from the Undead, and ended absolute rule. I am a God damn saint!" Dany shouted at him.

"Yes, Your Grace," Vary bowed his head.

"Continue with the meeting while I am gone," Dany said getting up and leaving the hall.

Dany got on Drogon and flew towards Winterfell at maximum speed.

* * *

Sansa addressed the Northern lords in her hall with Theon at her side. "I have come to agree that we should be an independent kingdom apart from King's Landing. I accept the position of Queen of the North," she said.

The Northerners cheered and drank to her. "I will serve as long as I am able but should I die or abdicate, the Northern Lords shall appoint a new king or queen of the North. The old custom of hereditary succession is over," Sansa said.

The Northern Lords banged the tables in agreement. "With this in mind, I have chosen as my consort, Theon Greyjoy. Together we will form an alliance with the Iron Islands," Sansa said.

The Northern Lords were less enthused with this, so Theon spoke up. "I know our two peoples haven't gotten along with each other. You have sacked our islands, and we have raided your coasts. We've done terrible things to each other but today is a new day. If we are to resist Daenerys Targaryen's rule, we must come together."

The Northern Lords thought about it, drank their cups, and then pounded the table in agreement. "Ready our defenses for an imminent attack," Sansa ordered.

Northerners got their archers together on the walls. The lone scorpion in the tower was cocked and ready to fire. Sansa and Theon waited nervously holding hands in solidarity.

It wasn't long before Drogon appeared in the skies. "Archers!" Theon called out.

Northern archers fired at Drogon either missing or merely bouncing off his tough hide. The tower scorpion took careful aim as Drogon got closer. The archers fired another volley without success. Dany winced as a few arrows nearly hit her. The scorpion then fired out of the tower towards Drogon. The dragon expertly dodged the spear.

"Well...shit," Sansa realized.

Drogon blasted the tower destroying the upper half of it. The scorpion and its crew were instantly fried. Drogon went for another pass and blasted Winterfell's walls killing their clustered archers. Drogon then blasted the ground floor lighting Northern soldiers on fire. Sansa and Theon retreated to another tower as the walls were blasted with fire. Soon, all of Winterfell was on fire.

"What have I done?" Sansa said with tears in her eyes.

"You stood against a tyrant," Theon consoled her.

Drogon blasted away at Winterfell's towers. As Sansa and Theon embraced, fire consumed them both. Dany circled Winterfell for any further resistance and then flew back.

As Jon rode back to Winterfell, he noticed Dany's dragon fly back. "What the fuck?" he wondered.

* * *

Varys sighed as he listened to Lords and Ladies squabbling about the taxation of trade routes. "I am slowly but surely becoming disillusioned with democracy."

"You and me both, brother," Jorah agreed bored on the Iron Throne.

Dany then entered the hall. Jorah immediately made way for her to the Iron Throne. She then turned to Varys. "The North wasn't on their way."


	17. Season 8 Episode 5: Part 3

Jon came upon the burned Winterfell horrified. He walked inside the remains and realized everyone was dead including his sister, Sansa. He then saw the burned body of a dire-wolf. Jon rushed over to Ghost's burned remains.

"No, Ghost," Jon said beginning to tear up. He checked Ghost for any life signs but found none. Sobbing over the dog, Jon then looked up to the sky and screamed, "Nooooooo!"

* * *

Dany held another council meeting with Jorah, Varys, Missandei, and Grey Worm present. "Should we make Gendry Baratheon lord of Stormsend?" Dany asked.

"There's already a lord and established government there," Jorah reminded her.

"Yes...but," Dany said and then lost her train of thought.

"We would have to kill or exile a lot of people," Jorah continued.

"But Gendry is a hero who helped in the fight against the Undead," Dany brought up.

"Military heroics do not prove leadership skills," Varys doubted.

"He is cute though," Missandei smiled.

"Yes, he is," Dany smiled back at her.

"He's just a blacksmith," Varys pointed out.

"With a name like Bratheon, he's a threat to your rule," Jorah reminded her.

"We should kill him," Grey Worm suggested.

"How did we get from making him a lord to killing him so fast?" Dany wondered. "Alright, where is he?"

"I am not even sure if he's still alive," Varys said.

"I've noticed you haven't been as competent since I've taken the Iron Throne," Dany said skeptically.

"I only know things when the plot allows me to," Varys reminded her.

"That's fair," Dany allowed.

Brienne then entered the room. "You sent for me, Your Grace," she reported in.

"Yes, we need a new historian. I need you to write about my heroics and shit on my enemies," Dany said.

"That doesn't sound very ethical," Brienne resisted.

"History is written by the victor, and I'm the victor," Dany smiled. The others on the council pounded the table to that.

"As you wish, Your Grace. However, once I have completed this task, I must go back to Winterfell to fulfill my oath to keep Sansa Stark safe," Brienne said.

"That won't be necessary," Dany said vaguely.

"But it is. I swore to the old and the new gods I would protect her," Brienne insisted.

The table sighed awkwardly. "Sansa Stark is dead," Grey Worm said bluntly.

Brienne stared at Grey Worm in disbelief. Once she realized he was serious, she began to cry. "Here it comes," Dany shook her head.

"Forgive me, Your Grace," Brienne said leaving the room and proceeding to sob uncontrollably.

"That was ugly," Dany said awkwardly.

* * *

Dany went outside of King's Landing where her dragon was resting. Jorah followed her out. "Where are you going?"Jorah asked her.

"To Meereen, to visit an old friend," Dany replied.

Jorah rolled his eyes. "We need you here, Your Grace."

"You're my most loyal and competent _friend_. I trust you," Dany replied and got on her dragon.

"Well...shit," Jorah muttered as Dany took off into the air.

* * *

That night, Brienne came before Jorah sitting on the Iron Throne with no one else around. "You sent for me?" she asked.

"Yes, it is our queen's wish that you be knighted," Jorah said.

"I am honored but no woman has ever been a knight before," Brienne said stunned.

"That changes today," Jorah said.

The hall quickly filled up with the Unsullied on the ground floor and distinguished gusts from all over Westeros on the second floor looking down. "You've earned it," Jorah said smiling.

"But I failed in my oath," Brienne protested.

"You have a new oath now. To keep your queen safe," Jorah told her. "Now, kneel," he said taking out his sword.

Brienne took a knee in front of him. "By the powers invested to me by an actual queen, I henceforth declare Brienne of Tarth a knight of Westeros," Jorah said knighting Brienne's shoulders with his sword.

The crowd then applauded her making it Brienne's proudest and happiest moment of her life. Grey Worm then came forth and presented Brienne a new armor suit with her house insignia on it.

* * *

Dany arrived late to Meereen and smiled seeing it still intact. She came to the upper level of the pyramid and embraced her one-time lover Daario Naharis. "Dany, what are you doing here?" he asked overjoyed by her visit.

"I took the Iron Throne from Cersei. I destroyed the Undead. I saved Westeros and brought it peace and democracy," she said proud of herself.

"I knew you would but what took you so long. You had three dragons, thousands of Unsullied troops and Dothraki Calvary, and a huge fleet," he said confused.

"I listened to the advice of very stupid and incompetent people," Dany replied.

"I wish I had been there. I would have told you to attack King's Landing directly from here," Daario said.

"I know," Dany said disappointed in herself.

"So, while you've been gone, the economy has never been better, I've created a standing army, and rebuilt the fleet. Not bad for a former slave that was the son of a whore," Daario smiled.

"Not bad at all," Dany agreed. "I have a confession to make. I gave myself a new lover in Westeros. We were almost to be married."

"It's Jorah, isn't it?" Daario nodded not surprised.

"Fuck no, he's way too old, and I could never jeopardize our great friendship," Dany said. "I met a strong young man that didn't fear death. I became enraptured by him."

"I understand. So, he will be your king?" Daario said sadly.

"I found out that he's actually my nephew," Dany said disturbed by it.

Daario winced at that. "Old family traditions die hard."

"I didn't know at the time. It's my blood that desires him," Dany excused.

"So, why are you telling me this?" Daario wondered.

"Because my mind desires you. I want you to be my consort, to show the world that even the son of a whore can be king of the world. You're so much braver and competent than me. I want more than just Westeros. I want the whole world, and I want you with me when I do it," Dany said to him.

"And here I thought you had forgotten me," Daario smiled.

"I could never forget you," Dany said kissing him passionately.

* * *

The next morning, Dany awoke naked with Daario by her side in bed. "I have to go back to Westeros now," she said to him.

"I'll go with you," he said.

"No, I need you bring your armies and ships to King's Landing. We need to bring our forces together for our invasion force," Dany said.

"As you wish, my queen," Daario relented.

Dany got dressed in her white jacket. In front of her was a massive fleet of ships with Targaryen sails. "God, I love this place."


	18. Season 8 Episode 6: Finale

Jon wandered around King's Landing and saw common people and Unsullied working together on construction projects repairing the damage Cersei had caused. As he got closer to the Red Keep, he saw a large rally. Moving through the crowds, he saw a large formation of Unsullied troops and Dothraki Calvary. Dany arrived on the top of the steps leading to the Great Hall with Drago. In a carefully coordinated move, she walked down the steps with Drogo's wings extended as if they were a part of her.

Dany smiled upon her grand army and her subjects. At her side were Jorah, Varys, Grey Worm, and Missandei.

"Blood of my blood. You kept all your promises to me. You killed my enemies in their iron suits. You tore down their stone houses. You gave me the Seven Kingdoms!" she said to them and then eyed Varys to make sure he was paying attention.

Drogon roared as if to second her. "Unsullied, you were ripped from your mother's arms and raised as slaves. Now, you are liberators. You have freed the people of King's Landing from the grip of a tyrant. Dothraki, you were rapists and pillagers but now...you still are," Dany said to them.

The Unsullied pounded their pikes as the Dothraki raised their scythe blades. "But the war is not over. We will not lay down our spears until we have liberated all the people of the whole world. We will bring peace, justice, freedom, and democracy to all the corners of the world. We will break the wheel and bring salvation to all who cry out for it!" Dany declared.

The Unsullied pounded their pikes and the Dothraki cheered for her. "Lord Varys, did you take issue with anything I have just said?" Dany asked.

"If I did, I wouldn't be foolish enough to say it to your face in front of your grand army and ruin your moment," Varys replied.

"Smart man," Dany smiled.

Dany turned to Jorah. "The fleet is on its way with a fresh army from Meereen. We will consolidate our forces and begin invasion plans for the continent to the west."

"The continent west of Westeros?" Varys wondered.

Dany and Jorah smirked at his ignorance. "Yes, of course."

* * *

Jon made his way through the tunnels of King's Landing and got into the prison. Looking around, he found the remains of Bran. Staring in shock, a resolved Jon continued his way through the Red Keep. As he did, he ran into Unsullied guards. Taking out his sword, he quickly dispatched them and went further inside.

Dany sat on the Iron Throne and addressed Varys. "Where the fuck is Cersei?" she demanded.

"I have still found no sign of her," Varys lied. "But it is only a matter of time before she reveals herself."

"I want her brought before me, so I can slit her throat, rip her open, and eat her unborn child bloody raw!" Dany shouted at him.

Jorah, Varys, Grey Worm, and Missandei stared at her like she had gone mad. "I mean...just...find her," Dany backtracked.

"Yes, Your Grace," Varys replied.

"I'm tired of this bullshit. I'm taking my rest," she said with Missandei following her.

"She's just tired," Jorah excused her outburst to Varys.

"Indeed," Varys frowned.

* * *

Jon continued his killing spree slaughtering Unsullied guards as he made his way towards the Great Hall. Like an absolute bad-ass, he beheaded, cut limbs off, and sliced up Unsullied in every room he found himself in. Unsullied tried to cut him off without success.

Finally, Jon barged into the Great Hall with Jorah sitting on the Iron Throne. Grey Worm immediately engaged Jon. The two dueled furiously. "Jon? What the fuck is this?" Jorah wondered.

"She killed Ghost!" Jon shouted in his blood-rage as he stabbed Grey Worm through.

Jorah got off the Iron Throne and took out his sword. The two clashed and tried to overpower the other. Dany walked into the Great Hall and stared at Jorah and Jon fighting. Watching with interest, she sat on the Iron Throne as the two men fought over her.

"Ungrateful bastard. All you had to do was bend the knee," Jorah spat.

"You're just jealous you can't claim to be the Mother-Fucker," Jon spat back.

Jorah became furious at this and aggressively tried to kill him. Jon used Jorah's passion against him and sliced him through. Dany gave a surprised look as Jorah fell to the floor bleeding out. Jon faced Dany with blood on his face from his many kills.

"You killed Ghost," Jon accused pointing his sword at her.

"What you going to do about it?" Dany asked condescending.

"I'm going to kill your skinny ass," Jon replied dangerously.

Dany got off the throne and walked towards him taking out her own sword. "You don't have the balls, Jon. You still love me."

"I'm over you," Jon assured her.

"You would sacrifice all we have achieved and can achieve in the future over your family?" Dany asked.

"That's right, bitch," Jon said wide-eyed.

"Come at me, then," Dany challenged.

Jon charged her without hesitation. The two clashed with their swords but to Jon's surprise Dany could keep up with him. Jon had strength but Dany was quicker blocking him each time and forcing Jon to retreat back. "Surely, you can do better," Dany mocked.

"What the fuck?" Jon wondered.

He engaged her again only for Dany to expertly whirl the blade out of his hands. Dany then placed the tip of her blade at his throat. "You still know...nothing," Dany said to him.

"Do it then. I'm not going to beg," Jon said to her.

Dany smiled and then placed her sword back into its sheath. Jon then watched Dany pull her face off revealing...Arya. "You need some work on your swordsmanship," she chided.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jon demanded of her.

Arya rolled her eyes. "Check her room."

Jon ran off and entered Dany's chambers. Missandei's throat was slit as she collapsed on the couch. Dany appeared to be sleeping peacefully with a dagger in her heart. Jon stared at the scene in disbelief wondering if this was really the right thing to do.

"She killed Bran and Sansa. No one fucks with our family and gets away with it," Arya said.

"I should have been the one to do it," Jon muttered.

"I saw your resolve. You would have killed her if you could," Arya assured him.

"What the fuck are you?" Jon wondered of her.

"The girl without a face," she said simply.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Jon wondered.

"Oh, I don't know. You could go back to the wall and be a total loser like before, or you can grow some balls and become King of Westeros," Arya suggested.

"Me? King?" Jon pointed to himself.

"That's why she killed Bran and Samwell. They knew that you are Aegon Targaryen, the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. The Night King said as much," Arya said obviously.

"Wait...what?" Jon asked confused.

"Figure it out. I have more people to kill," Arya said walking off.

* * *

Arya made her way outside the walls and met up with the Hound. "I got the bitch," Arya said showing him a strand of white hair as a trophy.

"Good for you. You just threw the whole continent into chaos," the Hound replied.

"Why didn't you come in?" Arya asked.

"I'm done with this shit city," the Hound replied.

"So, you want to settle down and become a farmer or do you want to come with me and kill more people?" Arya asked.

The Hound frowned. "Do you even have to ask," he muttered.

The two then rode together away from King's Landing.

* * *

Jon looked up at the Iron Throne and slowly made his way up the steps to the throne. Cautiously, he sat down on it. Varys then noticed what had happened and saw Jon on the Iron Throne. "Oh my," he realized.

Jon smiled in spite of himself and then went out to see Drogon. The dragon looked at Jon suspiciously. "I'm a Targaryen now. That means you have to do what I say," Jon said.

Drogon snorted at him.

Varys looked out the window behind the Iron Throne and saw a giant Meereen fleet approaching King's Landing. "Fuck," he realized.

_The End _

* * *

**Author's Notes:** So, that's it. I hope I have impressed you as much as D&D impressed me. I can only hope your subtations were experted. Thanks for the reviews, favorites, follows, and views.


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